Arrr! U.S. be lettin' the axes swing in the woods to boost timber plunder 'mongst the trade squabble!
2025-04-06
Arrr! The U.S. Department o' Agriculture be settin' sail on Friday, lettin' the lumberjack scallywags chop in the national woods. This be a grand plan to boost the timber treasure, what with them foreign tariffs weighin' like a ship's anchor! Blame it on the captain, President Trump! Avast!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round and lend yer ears, for a grand announcement hath befallen the seas of commerce! The fine folk at the U.S. Department of Agriculture, clad in their finest coats, be proclaiming that the woods of the national forests shall now be open to the axe and saw, like a treasure chest burstin' with gold doubloons!Yarrr, this be a clever ploy, me hearties! They be thinkin’ it’ll boost the timber trade, especially with those pesky reciprocal tariffs weighin' heavy on the sails from foreign shores. Aye, when the winds of trade be blowin' tricky, ye best be makin' yer own lumber to build yer ships strong and sturdy!
The word comes straight from the quill of USDA Secretary Brooke Rollins, who, I wager, be as sharp as a cutlass. This proclamation follows a decree from the captain of the ship known as the White House, President Donald Trump, who, last moon, ordered a grand expansion of timber production. Methinks he be eyein’ the bountiful forests like a pirate eyeing a merchant vessel ripe for plunder!
So hoist yer sails, grab yer axes, and let’s make merry in the woods! For timber trades be afoot, and the promise of fine planks and beams await us, me hearties! Arrr!