Arrr, Kevin Bacon be treadin’ lightly after bein' bilked in that scallywag Ponzi scheme! Savvy, matey?
2025-04-06
Arrr, matey! Kevin Bacon, that scallywag of Hollywood, be spillin' the beans ‘bout losin' doubloons to the notorious Bernie Madoff! Aye, caught in the ol' Ponzi whirlpool, he be feelin' like a shipwrecked sailor with naught but barnacles in his pockets! Avast, what a jolly ol' rip-off!
Avast, mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of Kevin Bacon, the thespian who once sailed the treacherous seas of Bernie Madoff’s infamous Ponzi scheme! Aye, in the days of yore, our Bacon found himself swindled of doubloons, yet he be not bitter nor jaded. Nay, he’s as wise as the sea is deep, proclaiming, “If it seems too good to be true, then it’s too good to be true!”With his bonnie lass Kyra Sedgwick by his side, the couple took their losses in stride. “We love each other, we love our children, and no scallywag can take away our ability to earn our keep!” quoth he. And as he grinded at the gym, staring at the very building where the nefarious Madoff plotted, he found humor in his pain, saying, “I can get through this!”
In their tome, "What Makes a Marriage Last," they shared the harrowing tale of their financial shipwreck but emerged stronger than a galleon in a storm. “It felt awful and scary for a long time,” said Kyra, “but we knew we would weather the storm.” So hoist the sails, for our Bacon sets course for new adventures in the tales of "Bondsman" and "Sirens!"