The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Gulf Coast shrimpers be hoistin' their tankards, findin’ fortune in Trump’s treasure maps o' tariffs!

2025-04-07

Arrr, after battlin’ the scallywags sellin’ cheap shrimp from foreign shores, the brave shrimpers from Florida to Louisiana be raisin’ their mugs high! They be hopin’ them new tariffs will fill their nets and their pockets! Avast, victory tastes sweet like rum!

Arrr, Gulf Coast shrimpers be hoistin' their tankards, findin’ fortune in Trump’s treasure maps o' tariffs!

Ahoy, me hearty! Gather 'round and lend me yer ears, fer I’ve a tale to spin ‘bout the shrimpers of the sunny shores! Yarr, these salt-worn buccaneers have been battlin’ the scourge of cheaper, farm-raised shrimp from distant lands, like scallywags plunderin’ their treasure chests!

But, lo and behold! A glimmer of hope be shinin’ through the clouds, fer it seems the winds of fortune be blowin’ in their favor! With new tariffs hoisted high like a flag on the mast, these brave shrimpers from the fair Florida to the wild Louisiana be feelin’ as optimistic as a parrot on a pirate’s shoulder!

Ye see, these tariffs be like a cannon blast against the competition, givin’ our salty sea dogs a fair chance to hoist their nets and reel in the bounty without the fear of bein’ outdone by those pesky imports. They be hopin’ to fill their hold with plump shrimp, instead of the watery, sad specimens that be comin’ from the far-off farms!

So raise a tankard to the shrimpers, me mateys! May the seas be favorable and the shrimp be plenty, for every pirate deserves his feast of crustaceans, whether they be grilled or fried, with a sprinkle of salt and a squeeze of lemon, argh!

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