The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Fans be scratchin' their heads as the FBI cap'n Kash Patel chats with Gretzky while Ovechkin be breakin' records!

2025-04-07

Arrr, matey! Wayne Gretzky be catchin' flak fer his ties to that scallywag Trump, but lo and behold, he be rubbin' elbows with the FBI’s Kash Patel while Ovechkin be sinkin' his 895th cannonball against the Islanders! The legend be breakin’ records faster than a ship in a storm!

Arrr mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale o' hockey, ties, and a bit o' scandal on the high seas o' sports! The great Wayne Gretzky, already swimmin' in a sea o' criticism fer his closeness to the notorious Captain Trump, found himself once more under the watchful eye of the law, side by side with none other than the FBI's own Kash Patel! Aye, it be true!

On a fateful Sunday, as the sun set over Long Island, the famed Washington Capitals' star, Alex Ovechkin, struck gold, breakin' Gretzky's long-held record with a mighty cannonball o' a goal—his 895th, to be precise! He made the New York Islanders weep like scallywags at UBS Arena as he sailed past the great one's previous mark. Aye, it be a historic moment indeed!

Let it be known, just the other day, Ovechkin had tied Gretzky's record at 894, bringin' a swell o' excitement to the icy waters of hockey fandom. Now, with this latest triumph, the Russian sharpshooter hath etched his name in the annals of history, leavin' ol' Gretzky with naught but a parrot on his shoulder and a grin on his weathered face! So hoist the sails and raise yer mugs to Ovechkin, the new captain of the ice seas!

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