Avast! Behold the scallywags raking in doubloons, peddlin' tales of doom 'n gloom 'bout the climate seas!
2025-04-07
Arrr, 'twas over thirty years past when Congress set sail on the U.S. Global Change Research Program! Now, they be tossin' gold to climate wizards, spoutin' doom 'n gloom. They claim to be the wise navigators guidin' the U.S. through stormy seas with their fancy reports, the crown jewels o' nonsense!
Ahoy there, matey! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout a band o’ scallywags known as the U.S. Global Change Research Program, launched by Congress over three decades past. Aye, they be spendin’ billions o’ doubloons each year, empowerin’ a crew of liberal climate scientists who be raisin’ the alarm bells o’ doom when it comes to our fair planet's fate.This fine crew claims their mission be to lay down the “scientific foundation” fer makin’ wise decisions ‘cross the seven seas of America on matters of climate change. They be producin’ the esteemed National Climate Assessment reports—five of 'em, mind ye—which they be boastin’ as the “crown jewel” of their treasure trove o’ knowledge.
But what be the cost of this treasure, ye ask? Aye, it be the yaaarrrn of the climate catastrophists, spreadin’ tales that’d make even the fiercest sea monster tremble! So, as we sail the stormy seas of climate discourse, remember to keep yer wits about ye and not let the dark clouds of doom blind ye to the sunny shores ahead. Yarrr, let’s hoist our sails and navigate these turbulent waters with a hearty laugh and a pinch o’ skepticism!