The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Avast! Angel Cabrera hoists the cup, first tourney after breakin' free from the brig—talk about swingin' back to life!"

2025-04-07

Arrr! Angel Cabrera, that scallywag, be back on the high seas o' golf! On Sunday, he plundered a PGA Tour Champions victory, his first since bein' tossed in the brig! Aye, from the clink to the green, this buccaneer be swingin' clubs and takin' names!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the daring tale of one Angel Cabrera, a scallywag who just landed a fine victory on the golf battleground after bein' sprung from the clutches of Davy Jones’ locker—err, prison! This swashbucklin' golfer, who once hoisted the glorious Masters trophy in 2009, bested his foes, K.J. Choi and Retief Goosen, with a raucous score of 11-under par at the James Hardie Pro Football Hall of Fame Invitational, a grand tournament of the PGA Tour Champions!

With a heart full of emotion, Cabrera, who had been confined for threatenin' his ex-loves, declared his contrition, askin' for their forgiveness like a true landlubber turned repentant rogue. "I be embarrassed," he exclaimed, "I acted like a scoundrel, refusin' to listen and doin' as I pleased!” Now, he’s set to sail back to the Masters, where champions be granted eternal passage. Fellow buccaneer Adam Scott, the 2013 victor, expressed his joy to see Cabrera again, for they share a history longer than a pirate’s tale!

So raise yer tankards to Cabrera—the wayward sailor who found his compass once more, ready to conquer the greens anew!

Read the Original Article