Arrr, the Trump crew be sinkin' student visas! "No one gets a ticket to our treasure, matey!" Har har!
2025-04-07
Arrr, matey! The Homeland Security scallywags be snatching away the travel parchments of our learned buccaneers from Harvard, Michigan, Stanford, and more! Aye, the seas of education be gettin’ stormy, and the classroom crew be walkin’ the plank of bureaucracy! Har har har!
Avast ye landlubbers! Gather 'round as I spin ye a tale of the Trump ship's latest mischief on the high seas of academia! The scallywags at the Trump administration be unleashin' a tempest of visa revocations upon poor international students settlin' in the hallowed halls of American universities.Word from the seven seas be that many scholars from fine institutions like Harvard, Stanford, and UCLA found their visas snatched quicker than a pirate can down a tankard of rum! Rumors swirl that these revocations might be tied to some ruckus 'round anti-Israel actions, but the winds of uncertainty blow strong.
Three scholars at Harvard walked the plank of visa-less despair, as did four brave souls from the University of Michigan. The Department of Homeland Security be claimin' it was all part of a "routine records review," but it sure feels like a mutiny against innocent students!
Secretary Marco Rubio, the captain of this ship, be raisin' the alarm, sayin' visas be denied "every day." He warns that if ye be causin' trouble on campus, yer chances of keepin' yer precious visa be sinkin' faster than a ship with a hole in its hull. So, batten down the hatches and watch yer backs, me hearties, for the academic seas be treacherous indeed!