The Booty Report

Maine be takin' the Trump crew to court fer holdin' yer gold, all 'cause they won’t shoo away trans athletes!

2025-04-08

Arrr, Maine be raisin' a ruckus with a lawsuit against the U.S. Department o' Agriculture! They be all sour 'bout the gold freeze 'cause the feds want 'em to change their sportin' ways. Blimey, can’t a state just play fair without a storm brewin’?

Ahoy mateys! It be a storm brewin' in the fair lands of Maine where the officials be settin' sail on a lawsuit against the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) over some funds that be as frozen as a pirate's heart on a cold night! The USDA be threatenin’ to hold back doubloons meant to feed the wee scallywags in schools 'n’ the like, all 'cause Maine won’t change its ways on lettin' transgender athletes join the schoolyard games.

The state be shoutin' foul, claimin' the USDA be usin' the funds for feedin’ children n’ lookin’ after the disabled as leverage in this scallywag shenanigan. Maine’s Attorney General Aaron Frey be callin' it a right ol' mess, sayin', “Under the flag o' keepin' the young uns safe, the Trump crew be breakin' the law like a misbehavin' crewman!”

He went on to warn that the President and his crew ain't above the law, and Maine won't be bowin' to no bully tactics! Frey be seekin' a restraining order against that USDA, sayin' the freeze be as unlawful as a pirate stealin’ a ship!

The USDA, however, be insistin’ that Maine must toe the line to protect the lassies in sports if it wants its booty back. They be preparin' to review all

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