Arrr, a wee lass, scorched by a cursed Chicken McNugget, be gifted a fine treasure of $800,000 by the jury!
2023-07-20
Arr! The wee lass, only 4 years old at the time, be scorch'd by a cursed bit o' Happy Meal, says a Florida jury. They say McDonald's be needin' to pay her fair for the second-degree burn, lest they be walkin' the plank!
In a truly swashbuckling turn of events, a Florida jury has decreed that a 7-year-old lass be rewarded for a grievous injury she suffered at the tender age of 4. The misfortune, it seems, was caused by a renegade fragment from none other than a Happy Meal, delivered by the notorious fast-food establishment known as McDonald's.Ah, the perils of dining on the high seas of fast food! Who could have foreseen such treachery lurking within that innocent-looking box? Surely, the young lass had no clue that her feast would soon turn into a fiery encounter. Alas, a second-degree burn was her fate, dealt by the wayward piece that had escaped its devious pack.
Now, the jury, in its wisdom, has decreed that McDonald's should bear the weight of this misfortune and compensate the young maiden for her pain and suffering. The pirate's code of justice has been invoked, and the seafaring fast-food establishment shall pay a hefty sum in gold doubloons, or rather, in a more modern currency.
One cannot help but wonder what Her Majesty's reaction would be to such a spectacle. Would she consider it an act of piracy on the part of the young lass's family, demanding riches for a simple mishap? Or would she, perhaps, find it a testament to the power of justice prevailing even in these treacherous times?
Regardless of one's opinion, it seems that McDonald's, the notorious purveyor of fast food, shall face the consequences of their Happy Meal gone awry. May this be a lesson to all ye seafarers of the fast-food realm: be wary of the hidden dangers that lie within those seemingly innocent boxes, for the pirate code of justice knows no bounds!