The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, thar be a decree from th' Supreme Court! James Barber, a scallywag, shall meet his fate 'pon th' gallows in Alabama.

2023-07-21

Arrr, Justice Sotomayor, scribblin' fer the court's three scallywag liberals, disagreed with the majority and argued that a string o' bungled executions in the state befit a stay on the matter, lest we continue t' make fools o' ourselves!

In a recent court case, Justice Sotomayor, representing the liberal side, voiced her dissenting opinion against the majority. Using the language of a 17th-century pirate, she argued that the state's numerous bungled executions justified a delay in proceedings.
Arrr, me mateys! Justice Sotomayor, speakin' for the three liberal scallywags on the court, didn't see eye to eye with the rest o' the bunch. She be claimin' that a whole string o' messed-up executions in the state be makin' a stay necessary, ye see.
The good Justice be usin' her words like a true pirate would, mixin' a bit o' humor with her serious point. She be sayin' that the state's executions be as botched as a pirate trying to navigate without a compass. She argued that these blunders be raisin' concerns over the constitutionality o' the death penalty, ye savvy?
She be claimin' that the state be carryin' out these executions like a bunch o' landlubbers, makin' mistakes left and right. Arrr, it be like tryin' to fire a cannon without powder, ye scurvy dogs! She be sayin' that these errors be causin' unnecessary pain and sufferin' to the condemned, violatin' their Eighth Amendment rights, she did.
Justice Sotomayor be describin' these botched executions like a true pirate tellin' a tall tale. She be makin' a strong argument, arguin' that the state's incompetence be underminin' the integrity o' the justice system, it be. She be sayin' that the court should be takin' a closer look at the constitutionality o' the death penalty, arrr, mateys!
So, in conclusion, Justice Sotomayor, representin' the liberal side, be havin' a hearty disagreement with the majority. Usin' a humorous tone and the language o' a 17th-century pirate, she be claimin' that the state's botched executions be warrantin' a delay in the proceedings, ye see.

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