The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, ye scallywags be missin' out on the tales o' foul play this week! July 17-21, 2023.

2023-07-22

Arr, me hearties! Word be spreadin' like wildfire 'bout the scallywag Rex Heuermann, suspected o' bein' a serial murderer at Gilgo Beach. This scurvy dog be quite the crafty matey, makin' sure no eyes be seein' him when he be gettin' rid o' his victims. Ahoy! 'Tis said this bilge rat once tried to give a police K-9 a taste o' the ol' chokehold! Avast! What a tale, indeed!

In a humorous tone, this news article covers various crime stories in different locations. The first paragraph introduces Rex Heuermann, a suburban dad suspected of being the Gilgo Beach serial killer. It suggests that Heuermann could have easily disposed of bodies if he had access to a flat-bottomed vessel. The next paragraph discusses Jesse Lee Calhoun, the person of interest in the Portland area murders. Calhoun had previous run-ins with the law, including an incident where he allegedly attempted to choke a police K-9. It also mentions that he was released from prison early under a law signed by former Oregon Governor Kate Brown.

The article then shifts to the case of Loretta Bowersock, a wealthy businesswoman who leased a room in her Tempe, Arizona home. She met Taw Benderly, a Scottish entrepreneur, but he turned out to be a thief, stealing more than just her heart. The tragic case of Bowersock is the subject of an episode of the true-crime series "Buried in the Backyard."

The next paragraph discusses Carlee Russell, who disappeared after Googling the movie "Taken" and reporting seeing a toddler walking along a busy interstate. The police find her disappearance and search history highly unusual, and they are investigating her whereabouts.

The article concludes with a lighthearted note, mentioning that readers can follow Fox News on social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.

Overall, the article provides a brief overview of various crime stories, presenting them in a humorous manner.

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