The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Yarr! Dallas scallywag stands accused o' sendin' a soul to Davy Jones whilst plunderin' fer a prom frock wit' his lass.

2023-07-22

Arr, taint be a scurvy dog, this Charlton Porter! Be accused o' killin' fair Ana Moreno whilst she be searchin' fer a gown for her young lass. Now, the scallywag be captured fer another murder! Walks the plank he shall, I reckon!

In a swashbuckling turn of events, the authorities in Texas have captured the scurvy scoundrel who is believed to have committed the dastardly deed of murdering a mother while she was on a noble quest to find a prom dress for her daughter in the bustling city of Dallas.
The suspect, a certain Charlton Porter, was apprehended on Thursday for another murderous act that took place in June in the fair city of New Orleans. But fear not, for he is expected to face charges for the killing of the unfortunate Ana Moreno, as reported by the reputable FOX 4 Dallas.
Poor Moreno, a lady of 39 summers, was innocently strolling through the streets with her 18-year-old daughter when she tragically found herself caught in the crossfire of a skirmish on May 13. It seems that the shooting occurred in the vicinity of Bruton Road and North Masters Drive in Pleasant Grove, where two groups of pistol-wielding rogues exchanged volleys from their moving carriages.
Alas, the shooting claimed the lives of three men, who were evidently the intended targets of this brazen attack. The daughter of the slain mother, Amy Rodriguez, expressed her distress, emphasizing that the upcoming prom became of no concern to her when her beloved mother was gravely injured.
Moreno's other daughter, Michelle Rodriguez, fondly remembered her mother as a caring soul who always sought to bring joy to those around her. This tragedy has left the family heartbroken, but they find solace in knowing that justice is at hand, as the scoundrel responsible for their mother's untimely demise has been captured.
Our news ship contacted the Dallas Police Department for further information, but alas, we have yet to receive a response. We shall remain vigilant in our pursuit of the truth.

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