The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Will Hurd sets sail, seekin' a 2024 crew to join his Republican ship o' politics!

2023-07-24

With dreams o' triumphin' in the vast ocean o' presidential contenders come 2024, this ex-Texas congressman be marketin' himself as a savvy swashbucklin' Republican, embracin' both modernity and moderation, all while sportin' a vision that be pleasin' both sides o' the political sea. Arrr!

Hark ye! Set yer sights on the horizons, me hearties, for there be news afloat! A former matey from the great land of Texas be settin' his compass on the treacherous seas of presidential politics. Aye, this swashbucklin' buccaneer aims to carve a path through a throng of contenders in the grand year of 2024. But mind ye, he be no ordinary landlubber. Nay, he be pitchin' himself as a modern, moderate Republican, with a vision as bipartisan as a parrot with two owners!

Ah, ye see, this bold matey be hopin' to unite the scurvy-riddled crew of politicians, from port to starboard, regardless of their political colors. He be swearin' an oath to chart a course that sails betwixt the treacherous waters of left and right, aye, a true moderate Republican indeed! Methinks he be singin' a siren's song, a melody so enchantin' that it may just be enough to woo the arrr-guably fickle electorate.

Now, mind ye, me hearties, this here pirate be no ordinary swabby. He be a master of the digital seas, navigatin' the treacherous waves of social media with ease. He be usin' this mighty tool to hoist his flag high for all to see. With every like, share, and retweet, his message be spreadin' across the vast expanse of the interwebs like wildfire in a powder keg.

But, me hearties, let us not forget the crowded field of presidential hopefuls he be facin'. Aye, there be more contenders than barnacles on a ship's hull. 'Tis a perilous journey ahead, but this here pirate be no stranger to danger. He be a true buccaneer, ready to board the ship of politics and make his mark on the history books.

So, me hearties, keep yer eyes peeled for this modern-day pirate sailin' through the choppy seas of presidential politics. Will he be able to steer his ship of dreams to victory? Only time will tell. But one thing be certain: with his humor, wit, and charm, this pirate be a force to be reckoned with. Arrr!

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