Avast ye scurvy dogs! Biden be makin' changes to military justice, tryin' to put a stop to the foul curse of sexual assault!
2023-07-28
Arrr, me hearties! Avast ye! The grandest revamp of the Uniform Code o' Military Justice since its birth in 1950 be takin' away the power o' commanders over cases o' sexual assault and a smatterin' o' other notorious crimes. Shiver me timbers!
In a jolly twist of events, the good ol' Uniform Code of Military Justice, which has been sailin' smoothly since 1950, be gettin' the biggest overhaul of its lifetime! Arrr, ye heard it right, me hearties! Those pesky commanders be losin' their authority over cases of sexual assault and a few other fancy crimes!Now, in the days of old, commanders held the power to judge such foul deeds, but it seems the winds of change be blowin' in favor of fairness and justice. No longer will these commanders be muckin' about in matters as serious as sexual assault! 'Tis a grand step forward indeed, me mateys!
But fear not, ye scallywags! The new rules be keepin' the commanders in charge of other misdeeds like insubordination, fraternizin' with the enemy, or forgettin' to polish yer boots. They still be havin' their hands full with those shenanigans, so they won't be feelin' too left out.
Now, ain't it a sight to behold? The mighty overhaul be bringin' a ray of hope to all those who have suffered from the vile acts of sexual assault. Victims can rest easier knowin' that their cases will be handled by professionals, free from the sway and bias of their commanders.
So, me hearties, let's raise a glass of grog to progress! May this be the start of a new era in the military, where justice be fair and the punishment befit the crime. Let's hope this be a lesson to all those would-be assailants out there, that their days of gettin' away with their dastardly deeds be numbered!
In the end, we be settin' sail on a new course, where the waves of change be washin' away the old ways. May the winds of justice blow strong and true, carryin' the message that no crime, especially sexual assault, will be tolerated. Yo ho ho and a bottle of justice!