The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye! How be Tim Scott squanderin' his millions in campaign bootie? 'Tis a riddle, me mateys!

2023-07-28

Arrr, me hearty! Th' senator's campaign be wastin' all th' treasure on newfangled companies with addresses at Staples stores in them fancy strip malls. Aye, they be squandering like a bunch o' landlubbers!

Ahoy, me mateys! Ye won't believe the tale I be tellin' ye today. It seems that the senator's presidential campaign be spendin' a mighty sum o' gold, but ye won't be believin' where that treasure be goin'! Arrr, me hearties, it be goin' to newly formed companies, with addresses that be none other than them Staples stores ye find in them suburban strip malls.

Now, ye may be askin' yerself, what be goin' on here? It be lookin' rather fishy, if ye ask me. It's like discoverin' a treasure chest full o' shiny doubloons, only to find out it be filled with nothin' but useless trinkets. Arrr, it be a clever scheme indeed!

Ye see, me lads and lasses, these newly formed companies be poppin' up like mushrooms after a storm. They be takin' the senator's gold, but nobody knows what they be doin' with it. It be a mystery, me hearties! Some say these be nothin' more than empty shell companies, created to hide the true purpose of the gold's destination.

Imagine this, ye scurvy dogs! The senator's campaign be spendin' vast amounts o' gold, but instead o' supportin' local businesses or investin' in grand ventures, it be endin' up in them humble Staples stores. Ye can almost picture the senator, sailin' into port, haulin' bags o' gold into the Staples, buyin' paper and ink for his campaign. Arrr, it be a sight to behold!

So, me mateys, next time ye be passin' by a suburban strip mall and spy a Staples store, remember the tale I be tellin' ye. The senator's gold be findin' its way to them newly formed companies, and nobody knows why. It be a mystery as deep as the ocean, and we be left wonderin' what lies beneath the surface. Arrr, it be a peculiar tale indeed!

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