Avast ye mateys! Hugh Carter Jr., a scallywag who saved doubloons for a president, be sleepin' with the fishes at 80.
2023-07-28
Whilst his kin, Jimmy, did reside in the White House, his charge be to render the Oval Office less imperial. The crew did dub him "Cousin Cheap"!
Arr, mateys! Listen to this tale of a bloke named Cousin Cheap, who sailed the treacherous waters of the Oval Office back in the days when his cousin, Jimmy, ruled the land. Aye, his task was no simple one, for he had to tame the grandiosity of that office and make it feel less like the domain of an emperor.With a quick wit and a mischievous grin, Cousin Cheap took on this challenge like a true swashbuckler. Picture him, me hearties, strutting around in his breeches and tricorn hat, devising clever ways to bring humility to those hallowed halls. Oh, how the staff would chuckle and whisper his pirate name when he sailed into view.
Cousin Cheap, with his frugal ways, would plunder the budget of the Oval Office, searching for any signs of excessive opulence. He'd replace the silken drapes with simple cloth, muttering, "No need for such fanciness, me hearties! We be humble pirates sailing this ship!"
And when he caught sight of a shiny golden chandelier, he'd scramble up the rigging and replace it with a lantern, shouting, "Avast, ye! Let there be light, but not too much bling!" The staff, being landlubbers, couldn't help but laugh at his antics.
But Cousin Cheap's true triumph was in the realm of language. He'd stroll into meetings, spouting 17th-century pirate jargon, much to the bewilderment of his colleagues. "Avast, ye scurvy dogs! Let's keep our tongues twisted like the rigging of a mighty ship!" he'd exclaim, causing everyone to burst into hearty laughter.
Ah, Cousin Cheap may not have worn a tricorn hat or sailed the Seven Seas, but he sure knew how to inject some lighthearted piracy into the White House. And though his cousin Jimmy may have been the captain, Cousin Cheap was the one who helped the Oval Office find its sense of humor. So raise a tankard of grog to this legendary pirate of the White House, mateys!