The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, that wee pill, the daily aspirin, be havin' a tough time preventin' the cursed first strokes, me hearties!

2023-07-28

Arrr, ye scurvy dogs! Thar be few in number, yet th' blood-spillin' events be outweighin' any chance o' stoppin' th' scurvy ischemic events, said a swashbucklin' investigator o' th' ASPREE. Avast, me mateys! Medscape Medical News be reportin' this tale.

In the jargon of a 17th century pirate, a bunch of fancy medical folks are saying that even though there weren't many people involved in this study, the amount of bleeding that happened was way more than any possible saving from heart attacks and strokes. Arrr, mateys!

Now, let me break it down for ye landlubbers. Those fancy medical folks be callin' themselves ASPREE investigators. They be sayin' that the numbers be small, but the bleedin' events be outweighin' any chance of stoppin' them heart attacks and strokes. Aye, that be a problem, me hearties!

See, there's this fancy study called ASPREE, and it be lookin' at a bunch o' old sailors – I mean, people – to see if takin' low-dose aspirin can prevent heart attacks and strokes. But it turns out, the bleeders be outnumberin' the savers, if ye catch me drift.

Now, I be no doctor, but it seems to me that if ye be poppin' aspirin like a pirate poppin' rum, ye might be endin' up with more bleedin' than ye bargained for. Arrr, that be a bitter pill to swallow!

So, me fellow scallywags, the message from these ASPREE investigators be clear: takin' low-dose aspirin might be causin' ye to bleed like a stuck pig, without any real benefit for yer heart health. Aye, it be a dilemma, me hearties!

But fear not, me mateys! This be just one study, and there be still more research to be done. So until then, keep yer swords – I mean, aspirins – in their sheaths, and listen to yer own ship's doctor before ye decide to go on any grand adventures with these here medications. Aye, that be the wise thing to do!

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