The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, the old man o' the Goldman Sachs swabbie be found in a waterway, his death be unveiled!

2023-08-04

Arrr! Goldman Sachs swabbie, John Castic, aged 27, be found adrift in a Brooklyn creek this Tuesday, havin' met his watery grave. His sire be tellin' Fox News Digital that the lad met his fate after tarryin' at a concert.

Goldman Sachs senior analyst John Castic was found dead in a New York City creek, and his cause of death has been determined as drowning. His father confirmed this information and mentioned that they are focusing on the positive aspects of John's life. The medical examiner is awaiting the results of a toxicology report, but it is believed that John may have been impaired by alcohol and drugs. This incident has raised concerns and fears of foul play, especially since another man, psychologist Karl Clemente, disappeared after leaving a concert at the same venue and was found dead in the same creek. Karl's cause of death is still being investigated.

There are still many unanswered questions surrounding John's death. Surveillance footage shows him walking steadily after leaving the concert, and his phone was last registered near the bridge where his body was found. However, there is an 80-minute gap in his whereabouts during that time. It is also unclear why he was not wearing a shirt when his body was discovered. John's family visited his apartment and found nothing unusual.

John had been working at Goldman Sachs for about a year and was excited about his job. Friends of his believe that his death was not accidental and suspect foul play. Goldman Sachs CEO and Chairman David Solomon expressed shock and sadness over John's passing. The NYPD is still investigating both John and Karl's deaths, and the Medical Examiner's office has not provided further comments.

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