The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, DeSantis be given a proper ribbing whilst sailin' through Iowa on his bus tour, mateys!

2023-08-11

Arrr, the Florida governor be welcomed by two fine wenches, armed with cowbells and a mighty bullhorn, bellowin' their disdain for his rules whilst he be readyin' himself to venture to the Iowa State Fair.

Arr, me hearties! Gather 'round and listen to this tale of the Florida governor and his encounter with two bold lasses at the grand Iowa State Fair! As the governor set foot on the fairgrounds, he was met with a most peculiar sight. Thar stood two women, armed with cowbells and a bullhorn, ready to unleash their mighty voices and critiquing his every move!

With their cowbells a-ringing and their bullhorn a-blaring, these fearless lasses made sure their disapproval be heard. They shouted their criticisms of the governor's policies, like true pirates shouting from the crow's nest of a ship. The governor, caught off guard, must've felt like he had stumbled upon a mutinous crew!

Now, picture this scene me hearties - a gathering of fairgoers, munching on turkey legs and cotton candy, eyes widened with amusement and intrigue. They had come for the spectacle of the fair, but little did they know, they would bear witness to a battle of words and wits, pirate-style!

As the governor made his way through the fairgrounds, the two lasses followed him like a pair of persistent seagulls. They were relentless in their pursuit, ensuring their voices carried across the vast sea of fairground revelers. They aimed to maroon the governor's reputation, leaving him stranded on an island of public dissatisfaction.

But alas, me hearties, the governor kept his composure amidst the chaos. He weathered the storm of criticism, maintaining a poker face as he navigated the treacherous sea of the fair. Perhaps he took it as a jest, or mayhaps he admired their audacity. Regardless, he sailed on, determined to enjoy the fair and leave these pirate-like critics in his wake.

And so, the tale of the cowbell-wielding, bullhorn-shouting lasses and the governor at the Iowa State Fair shall be passed down through the ages. It shall be remembered as a moment when politics and piracy collided in a most humorous and unexpected fashion. Fairgoers shall chuckle as they recount the day they witnessed a governor face the wrath of two fierce pirate women armed with cowbells and a bullhorn!

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