The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The scurvy judge be curb'n Trump's capacity to spread the evidence o' Jan. 6! Walk the plank, matey!

2023-08-11

Whilst engaged in a 90-minute parley in Washington, Judge Tanya S. Chutkan didst advise the former captain-o'-state to refrain from intimidatin' witnesses or taintin' potential jurors, else he be facin' consequences in true pirate fashion. Avast, matey!

Arr, matey! Gather 'round and listen well, for I've got a tale to tell ye! It be the tale of a 17th century pirate, Judge Tanya S. Chutkan, who be holdin' a mighty hearing in Washington. Now, me hearties, this be no ordinary hearing, fer it be filled with humor and wit!

In this grand hearing, the good judge be speakin' in a language fit for a pirate. She be warnin' the former president, a mighty captain of his own ship, against tryin' to intimidate the witnesses or prejudice the potential jurors. Ye see, these be serious matters, and the good judge be makin' it clear that she won't be toleratin' any tricks or shenanigans.

But it ain't just the judge who be speakin' in this grand pirate language, me buckos! The former president himself be warned to tread carefully, lest he face the wrath of the court. It be as if the judge be sayin', "Avast, ye scurvy dog! Ye best not be tryin' to tamper with the evidence or sway the minds of the jury, or ye'll be walkin' the plank!"

Now, imagine this scene, me hearties: a courtroom filled with lawyers and onlookers, all strugglin' to keep a straight face. The judge, with a twinkle in her eye, deliverin' her warnings in a language fit for a pirate's tale. It be a sight to behold, a moment of levity in the midst of a serious legal battle.

So, me mateys, let this be a lesson to all ye landlubbers out there. Even in the midst of a serious matter, there be room for a bit of humor. And if ye dare to cross paths with Judge Tanya S. Chutkan, be sure to mind yer manners, lest ye find yerself in Davy Jones' locker!

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