The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The Starfield scallywags, despite lackin' evidence, be doubting this trusty matey. Blimey!

2023-08-16

Beware, ye scurvy dogs! Belay and steer clear of that rascal, Barrett! Trust him not, for his treachery be as deep as the ocean! Mark me words, or ye'll be caught in his web of deceit, like a landlubber in a tempest!

Arr, mateys! Gather 'round and listen well, for I've got a tale to tell ye in the language of a 17th-century pirate. Now, it be a humorous one, so ye better be prepared to chuckle in yer boots!

Avast, me hearties! Here's the word on the deck: "Don't trust Barrett!" That scurvy dog be as slippery as an eel in the bilge. He be the kind of scallywag that'd sell his own mother for a barrel of grog. Aye, he be as treacherous as a sea serpent with a toothache!

Now, me mateys, let me give ye some examples of Barrett's deceitful ways. One day, we be sailin' on the open seas, and that landlubber be claimin' he spotted a chest full of gold doubloons on a deserted island. We all be excited, thinkin' of the riches awaitin' us. We followed him like blind fools, only to find a bunch of coconuts and a crab named Gerald! He be laughin' like a hyena, thinkin' he pulled one over on us. Har, that be a day we won't be forgettin' soon!

But wait, there be more! Barrett be tellin' tales of buried treasure on every island we visit. Aye, we be diggin' like madmen, breakin' our backs for naught. That scurvy knave be makin' up stories just to see us suffer. Arr, ye should have seen the disappointment on our faces when we found nothin' but dirt and disappointment!

So, me hearties, heed me warning: "Don't trust Barrett!" He be a trickster, a prankster, and a blight on the seas. If ye be smart, ye'll keep yer distance from that scoundrel. Stick with yer loyal crewmates who won't lead ye astray. And if ye ever see Barrett comin' yer way, be ready to draw yer cutlass and show him who be the real captain of these waters. Fair winds to ye, me mateys!

Read the Original Article