The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the landlubbers claim they've snatched a grand loot o' $1.4B worth o' stolen COVID relief dubloons!

2023-08-24

Arrr, mateys! The DOJ be claimin' to have seized a mighty bounty o' $1.4 billion in COVID-19 booty, swindled by scurvy dogs! They've also slapped charges on o'er 3,000 scalawags in federal districts all across the land. Savvy?

Arrr, me hearties! The Department of Justice (DOJ) be makin' waves, me buckos! They be claimin' to have seized a treasure chest worth over $1.4 billion in COVID-19 relief funds that them scurvy criminals had stolen! That be a mighty haul, I tell ye!

But that ain't all! The DOJ be showin' no mercy to them landlubbers. They be chargin' over 3,000 defendants with crimes in federal districts across the country. The long arm of the law be stretchin' far and wide, me mateys!

Now, ye may be wonderin', "How in Davy Jones' locker did these scallywags manage to pilfer such a grand booty?" Well, it be a tale as old as the seven seas. Them rapscallions be takin' advantage of the chaos brought by this cursed pandemic, pretendin' to be in need of help. They be swindlin' and schemin', takin' what rightfully belongs to the good folks tryin' to weather the storm.

But fear not, me hearties! The DOJ be fightin' back, bringin' justice to these seafarin' scoundrels. They be sendin' a clear message to all those who dare cross the line. No matter where ye hide, whether ye be in the Caribbean or the far reaches of the Indian Ocean, they be comin' for ye!

So, let this be a warnin' to all ye would-be pirates out there. The seas may be treacherous, but the long arm of the law be even more so. The DOJ be showin' no quarter, and they be protectin' the treasure meant for those who truly be needin' it. Stay on the right side of the law, me hearties, or ye may find yerself in a world of trouble. Yo ho ho!

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