The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye! A fantastical tale be told o' a nun who be makin' her abbey famous in Missouri! Arrr!

2023-09-09

Arrr! Avast ye! Four years hence, the lovely Sister Wilhelmina Lancaster's mortal vessel be untouched by decay, as her fellow brethren claim. Believers be flockin' from all corners o' the seven seas to lay their eyes upon this supernatural wonder!

Arr, me hearties! Listen up, for I have a tale that be both mystifying and humorous, fit for the ears of a true swashbuckler! It be said that the body of Sister Wilhelmina Lancaster, may her soul rest in peace, hath not decayed even four years after her journey to the afterlife. Aye, ye heard it right, me mateys! Her fellow nuns be claimin' that she be preserved, untouched by the hands of time or the worms of the sea!

Now, ye may wonder, why would anyone travel from far and wide to witness such a peculiar sight? Well, me hearties, it be because they be believin' in the miraculous powers of Sister Wilhelmina's remainin' body. They be flockin' like seagulls to the shore, hopin' that her spirit be blessin' 'em with good fortune and healin'. Some even be prayin' for her intercession, askin' her to put in a good word with the big man upstairs, beggin' for forgiveness for their sins.

Now, I be thinkin' to meself, what be the cause of this extraordinary preservation? 'Tis a mystery, indeed! Some be claimin' it be the work of the divine, whilst others be mutterin' about black magic and voodoo curses. But me, bein' a man o' reason and logic, I be thinkin' there be more to this tale than meets the eye.

Could it be that Sister Wilhelmina hath discovered the fountain of youth durin' her worldly adventures? Or mayhaps she be possessin' some secret pirate treasure that be keepin' her body intact? Arr, the possibilities be endless, me mateys!

So, me hearties, if ye be seekin' a bit o' adventure and a good laugh, why not set sail for the nunnery and witness this phenomenon for yerself? Who knows, ye might just be inspired to become a believer or discover the secret behind Sister Wilhelmina's everlasting preservation. But remember, don't be takin' life too seriously, for sometimes even death be havin' a sense of humor!

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