The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

A jolly spectacle be seen, matey! A grand train carryin' brave souls sailin' towards US shores from Mexico!

2023-09-17

Avast ye! The seas be teemin' with unlawful migrant sailin's! A mighty train, brimmin' with Zacatecas folk from Mexico, be makin' its way to the southern border on the Lord's day, mark me words!

A humorous summary in the language of a 17th-century pirate:

Arrr, me hearties! There be a mighty train, a FerroMex train, full o' migrants sailin' from Zacatecas, Mexico, bound for the U.S. southern border. And what a sight it be! The scallywags be hangin' off the sides o' the cars, cheerin' their way to their new land. Aye, the video caught 'em in the act on Sunday, despite them Yankees sendin' a stern message: "do not come!"

Them border patrols along the southern border be in a right fix, me mateys. They be facin' a swarm of illegal crossings, aye. Take Ajo, Arizona, for example. It be seein' a whopping 2,000 illegal crossings a day for many a day straight, drivin' them agents to release 'em on the streets since the shelters be overflowin'. And there be even folks from Africa joinin' the party, if ye can believe it!

Last month, the Border Patrol had well over 20,000 scallywags in custody down in the Rio Grande Valley. Families with wee ones, unaccompanied minors, the whole lot! And now, they be thinkin' of a plan to keep these migrants stuck in Texas, wearin' ankle bracelets to track 'em. But it be a strange game, ye see. Them Yankees be suin' Texas for puttin' up barriers and suin' Arizona for buildin' a fence out o' shipping containers. Arrr, the irony be thick!

But the migrants, they be gettin' a chance at asylum screenin' to see if they can stay in the land o' the free. Some may even be housed by local groups. DHS, bless their hearts, be workin' hard to remove or return over 200,000 of 'em since May.

And Texas, that brave land, be runnin' a busing program to take 'em to them "sanctuary cities" like New York, Chicago, Philly, and Los Angeles. Governor Greg Abbott be sayin' that them sanctuary cities need to shoulder the load, for Texas has had enough o' this illegal immigration business.

So there ye have it, me mateys! The tale o' the migrants and the chaos they be causin' along the southern border. Will the situation be resolved? Only time will tell. Until then, hoist the anchor and set sail for new adventures!

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