The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, changes be causin' quarrels and legal battles for Florida College, squarely in Governor DeSantis' sights!

2023-09-22

Arr, avast ye! In a turn o' events, Florida be makin' a risky decision. They be castin' aside gender-neutral heads for the loo, but embracin' competitive sports at New College. Aye, they be tryin' to make the place a stronghold o' conservatism, me hearties!

In a surprising turn of events, Florida has declared its intention to transform New College into a haven of conservatism, where competitive sports are celebrated and gender-neutral bathrooms are banished. This announcement has caused quite a stir among students and faculty alike, as they now find themselves transported back to the language and mindset of 17th-century pirates.
Arrr, me hearties! Avast ye! It seems that the winds of change have blown in a new era for New College in Florida, where the powers that be have decided to embrace a more traditional and conservative approach. No longer shall we have the luxury of gender-neutral bathrooms, for that be a thing of the past. Instead, we shall return to the days of yore, where men and women had their separate domains.
But fear not, me mateys! It be not all doom and gloom. For in this brave new world, we shall celebrate the spirit of competition! No longer shall the halls of New College echo with the sounds of peaceful discourse and intellectual musings. Nay, instead we shall witness the clash of titans on the playing fields, where athletes shall battle for glory and honor!
Picture it, me hearties - a grand colosseum filled with students and faculty, cheering and jeering as their chosen champions engage in epic contests of strength and skill. The air shall be thick with excitement and the ground shall quake with the thunderous applause of the masses.
So gather round, me hearties, and prepare yourselves for a voyage into the uncharted waters of conservative academia. While we may bid farewell to gender-neutral bathrooms, we shall embrace a new era of athletic competition. Let us don our tricorn hats, brandish our swords, and set sail for a land where tradition reigns supreme!

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