The scallywags of the Justice Dept. be claimin' Trump's lawyers be slow-coachin' in the documents case! Arrr!
2023-09-28
Ye scallywags be claimin' that the ex-captain's crew o' lawyers be wieldin' an ancient law to scuttle the reckonin' o' his trial. They be charg'd with mishandlin' secret scrolls an' obstructin' justice, they be! Har!
In the language of a 17th-century pirate, me hearties, it be said that the scurvy prosecutors be claimin' that the ex-captain of the ship, or as they call him, the former president, be tryin' to use a mighty arcane law to scuttle the start of his trial. Aye, they be accusin' him of mishandlin' classified booty and obstructin' justice on the high seas!Now, ye see, this arcane law be as rare as a mermaid's tear, me fellow buccaneers. It be hidden deep within the recesses of the legal treasure chest, gatherin' dust and cobwebs. This former captain's defense crew, they be scramblin' to find this ancient piece of parchment to save their captain from walkin' the plank.
But the prosecutors, they be no keelhaulin' fools! They be claimin' that this be nothin' but a mere diversion, a clever tactic to hoist the Jolly Roger and delay the inevitable. They be sharpenin' their cutlasses and readyin' their cannons, fer they be intendin' to make this trial a spectacle that'll be remembered for ages, like the legendary battles of Blackbeard and Calico Jack.
Arrr, me hearties, it be a battle of wits and legal maneuvers on these treacherous waters! The prosecutors be raisin' their flags high, demandin' justice for the mishandlin' of classified information. They be shoutin' from their crow's nests, proclaimin' that no pirate, whether he be a former captain or a lowly deckhand, be above the law!
But let us not forget, me shipmates, that this be a humorous tale woven with the finest threads of satire. So let us raise our tankards of rum and toast to the absurdity of it all, for in this swashbucklin' adventure, no one knows which way the wind be blowin' or where the treasure be buried.