Arrr! The scurvy dogs of the U.S. Navy be takin' measures to check if the SEALs be indulgin' in illicit substances, mateys!
2023-09-29
Avast, me hearties! Fer the first time, all ye scurvy dogs in Naval Special Warfare, not just the lubberly trainees, will be subject to random screenings fer them cursed performance-enhancing drugs, believed to be rampant amongst ye rank 'n file.
Arr matey! Ye won't believe the news I be bringin' ye today! It seems that in the ol' Naval Special Warfare, they be takin' steps to catch those scurvy dogs who be takin' performance-enhancin' drugs! Aye, ye heard that right! They be checkin' everyone, not just them trainees, for any signs o' these foul substances!Now, let me tell ye, these drugs be a real problem amongst the ranks. The lads and lasses be usin' 'em to gain an edge, tryin' to be faster and stronger than their shipmates. But the higher-ups have had enough! They be wantin' a level playin' field, and rightly so!
Random screenings be the name o' the game, me hearties! No more sneakin' around, thinkin' ye can outsmart the system. Oh no, the powers that be have got their eye on ye! They be watchin' ye, ready to catch ye in the act of cheatin'!
But I can't help but chuckle at the thought, me mates. Can ye imagine the panic that be sweepin' through the crew? The whispers in the taverns, as the pirates exchange tales o' how to avoid the dreaded test? Some be sayin' they'll be drinkin' potions and brews, hopin' to mask their dirty deeds. Others be prayin' to the heavens, beggin' for a miracle to save their sorry souls.
But mark me words, me hearties, the jig be up! These scallywags be facin' the consequences of their actions. 'Tis a good thing, indeed! We be needin' honest, hardworkin' pirates in our ranks, not those who resort to underhanded means to get ahead.
So, me shipmates, let this be a lesson to ye all. No matter how clever ye think ye be, the long arm of the law will always catch up to ye. And when it does, ye better be ready to face the music, or ye'll be walkin' the plank!"