The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, matey! Jamaal Bowman be sneakily pullin' th' fire alarm afore th' House vote on th' stopgap spendin' bill!

2023-09-30

Arrr, me hearties! This here Mr. Bowman, a true Democrat, did sound the alarm bells ere a hasty vote on a measly stopgap fundin' measure! Aye, two investigations be now underway, seekin' the truth of this scandalous incident! Shiver me timbers!

Arr matey! I have a jolly tale to spin about a scurvy dog named Mr. Bowman, a Democrat he be, who be pullin' the alarm ahead of a mighty rushed vote on a stopgap funding measure. Aye, ye heard it right, me hearties! This be a tale of great importance, for it be causin' quite the stir in the land of politics.

Now, let me tell ye about these investigations that have been sparked by this incident. Two of 'em, to be exact! The first one be led by the House Ethics Committee, a bunch of fancy politicians who be investigatin' if Mr. Bowman violated any rules or codes of conduct with his alarm-pullin' shenanigans. They be lookin' fer any signs of mischief, or perhaps even foul play, in his actions. Arr, it be a serious matter, indeed!

But wait, there be more! The second investigation be conducted by the Capitol Police, those brave souls who be protectin' the halls of power. They be lookin' into whether Mr. Bowman's alarm-pullin' be a breach of security or a threat to the fine folks who be dwellin' in them chambers. Aye, they be seekin' answers to ensure that such antics don't be repeatin' themselves.

Now, ye may be wonderin', why did Mr. Bowman be pullin' that alarm in the first place? Well, it be said he be tryin' to delay the vote on a stopgap funding measure. Perhaps he be thinkin' that if he be soundin' the alarm, he could give his mates some more time to debate and discuss. Or maybe he just be enjoyin' the chaos and wanted to have a good laugh. Either way, it be a bold move, me mateys!

So there ye have it, a tale of Mr. Bowman, a scallywag of a Democrat, pullin' the alarm and causin' quite the commotion. The investigations be underway, and we be waitin' to see what the outcome be. Until then, let us raise our mugs and toast to the wild world of politics!

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