The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Bidens' salty pooch, Commander, be walkin' the plank from t' White House for another chomp, matey!

2023-10-04

Arrr, me hearty Commander, a sprightly 2-year-old German shepherd, didst sink his teeth into a Secret Service officer's limb just last week! 'Twas the 11th time these mischievous presidential pets hath engaged in such "aggressive behavior." Blimey!

Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round and listen to this tale of mischief and mayhem involving a fearsome creature known as Commander, a German shepherd of a mere two years. Avast ye! It be reported that this scurvy dog has gone on a rampage, bitin' a Secret Service officer. Nay, I tell ye, 'tis the 11th time this beast has shown such aggressive behavior. Methinks it's a perilous situation indeed!

Now, ye must be wonderin' why a dog be bitin' these officers of the Secret Service. 'Tis a curious tale, me mates! It seems that these presidential pets have a penchant for mischief. They be causin' chaos wherever they go, like a tempest in a teapot. Can ye imagine the horror on the faces of these poor officers as they try to protect the president from their own pets?

But let me regale ye with more details of this tale. 'Tis said that Commander, the unruly canine, be no ordinary dog. Nay, he be a German shepherd, a breed known for its loyalty and fierce protectiveness. Yet, it seems this pup has taken his duties a bit too seriously, makin' it a challenge for those around him to keep their limbs intact.

One can't help but chuckle at the thought of a Secret Service officer bein' bested by a four-legged scallywag. 'Tis a testament to the unpredictable nature of these pets. Who would have thought that the very creatures chosen to guard the president's abode be the ones causin' such a ruckus?

So, me hearties, let us hope that these presidential pets learn to temper their wild ways, for none be safe from their furry fury. And as for Commander, mayhaps a stern talking-to and a few extra treats will help him see the error of his ways. Until then, we shall keep our eyes peeled for any further tales of mischief from these mischievous pets of the president!

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