The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr matey! A scallywag from the GOP be rescuing landlubbers from a terrible war ordeal in Israel!

2023-10-11

Arrr, Rep. Cory Mills, a true buccaneer, didst plot a grand evacuation of 32 poor souls, marooned in Israel, with nary a road to tread after the villainous Hamas scallywags unleashed their deadly onslaught.

In a heroic effort, Rep. Cory Mills, R-Fla., successfully rescued 32 stranded Americans in Israel who were unable to find flights back home. With the help of the U.S. embassy in Jordan, Mills organized their safe passage from Tel Aviv to Jordan. All of the rescued Americans were able to arrange flights from Jordan to the United States. Mills, distinguishing himself as a statesman rather than a politician, took action when he learned that Americans were in danger.

Acknowledging that there are still thousands of people trapped in Israel, Mills expressed his hope to rescue even more individuals in the future. Although the mission did not go exactly as planned, with Mills having to change arrangements and take a taxi to Israel, he successfully located the stranded Americans in two cities and arranged for their escape by bus.

Many of the stranded Americans had tried but failed to get assistance from the U.S. State Department. Major airlines had canceled flights out of Tel Aviv due to a rocket attack, which caused insurance companies to deny full coverage for aircraft. This further complicated the situation for the stranded Americans.

Mills, who has been serving in Congress since January, believes that his absence during important House GOP speakership discussions is justified by the lives he is saving. He feels blessed and lucky to have been able to carry out this rescue mission and intends to continue evacuating stranded American citizens from Israel in the days to come.

For U.S. citizens seeking assistance from the U.S. Embassy in Israel, the embassy provided contact information on their website.

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