"Arrr, a scurvy 'squad' mate be spreadin' false tales 'bout Israel, while Haley gives 'em a warnin'! Avast, more top news await!"
2023-10-16
"Avast ye scurvy dogs! A scallywag from the 'Squad' be spreadin' lies 'bout Israel, whilst Haley be givin' a stern warning! Arrr, there be more top tales to pillage and plunder! Gather 'round, me hearties!"
Good morning, me mateys, and welcome aboard Fox News’ morning newsletter, Fox News First. Avast ye, if ye want to receive Fox News First in your email, be sure to subscribe now, lest ye miss out on the latest news. Now, let me tell ye what ye need to know to start yer day...Arrr, it seems that Ilhan Omar be gettin' herself in a bit o' trouble for spreadin' false information about the Israel-Hamas war, arrr! Next up, Nikki Haley be warnin' the UN about the threat o' Hamas to Israel, and she be wantin' 'em labeled as terrorists five years ago, arrr!
Ye won't believe it, but there be another Iranian 'special interest alien' apprehended at the border, arrr! These scallywags just keep comin'! And there be a battle brewin' in the House, mateys, as they search for a new speaker, with twists and turns ye won't be expectin', arrr!
Avast, the Vatican be gettin' some heat for their statement on the barbaric Hamas attacks, arrr! And Blinken, the Secretary of State, be sayin' that Hamas be the reason why foreign nationals can't leave Gaza, arrr! In other news, the Democrats be tryin' to reclaim the swing state Trump won in 2020, arrr!
Arrr, the GOP presidential candidate be haulin' in a mighty $7.4 million in the past three months, mateys! And there be a bankrupt EV company CEO advisin' the Biden administration, arrr! What a world we be livin' in!
Arrr, that be all for now, me hearties. If ye be wantin' more news, click on the links and continue readin'! And don't forget to check out the cartoons and other articles that be waitin' for ye. Thank ye for makin' Fox News yer first choice in the mornin', and we'll see ye in yer inbox soon!