The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Captains Corner News

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Arrr, matey! Join the swashbucklin' quiz o' news from Foxy News, destined for October the fourth, in the year 2024!

Ahoy mateys! Johnny Depp be donning his swashbucklin’ garb once more! And this fierce father, through tempest and rubble, trekked near 30 leagues to escort his lass to the altar! Can ye prove yer noggin be sharp? Give it a go, ye scallywags! 🏴‍☠️

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"Arrr, I be spyin’ a collar that makes yer pooch chatter! Aye, 'tis as bonkers as a parrot on rum!"

Avast, me hearties! Behold this magical neckpiece, crafted by clever landlubbers! It be whisperin’ secrets o’ yer furry mates, makin’ ‘em chatter like a parrot at a tavern! Soon ye shall know what the scallywags be thinkin’—but beware, they may be more cunning than ye reckon! Arrr!

Avast, me hearties! Hoist the sails! After October, the duel o' next-gen processors be settin' sail—best delay yer PC makin'!

Arrr! Whispers on the high seas be sayin' that after Intel drops its treasure, the 200K Arrow Lake-S, AMD be readyin' to unveil the Ryzen 7 9800X3D! Come October, gamers’ll be swimmin' in the finest CPUs known to man! A bountiful harvest awaits, me hearties!

Arrr! Trump be rockin' his noggin fer half an hour in a curious town hall jig! What be this madness?

Avast! After a squall o' interruptions, Captain Trump did declare, “Enough o' yer prattlin’!” He be thinkin’ it more jolly-like for all hands if he cranked up his sea shanties instead. Aye, it seemed the good captain fancied a bit o’ merry music to lift his spirits!

Arrr! Amazon be spillin’ the beans on Invincible’s third voyage and be heedin’ the crew’s grumblin’ woes, savvy?

Arrr, me hearties! Scrawl it on yer treasure maps for the year of our Lord 2025! A day o' revelry awaits, when we’ll drink like scallywags and dance like the devil! Don’t be forgettin’ or ye might walk the plank!

“Arrr! A Trump ad be schemin' to cast Harris's prosecutor days in a jolly bad light, matey!”

Arrr, me hearties! Aye, the grand treasure chest of coin from a mighty super PAC be brandin' Kamala Harris as a scallywag of the radical left, spewin' tales of law and order like a ghost from Nixon’s ship! Avast, the winds of politics be blowin' mighty foul!

"Arrr, can them slim-down potions make scallywags fit fer toil? The U.K. be keen to unravel this treasure map!"

Arrr, me hearties! The British crown be makin’ a treasure pact with Eli Lilly, plunderin’ millions for a potion to shed the pounds! They be studyin’ how it affects the swabs’ workin’ and productivity. Aye, let’s hope it don’t make ‘em too light-headed to hoist the sails!

"Arrr, that Iranian scallywag General be spotted in the news, after we all wondered if he be lost at sea!"

Arrr, matey! Brig. Gen. Esmail Ghaani, the scallywag captain of the Quds Force, be spottin' in a video on Tuesday, as Tehran readies its cannons for a likely tussle with them Israel landlubbers! Avast, the seas be gettin’ choppy!

Arrr, this here co-op farm game be a jolly mash o' Minecraft and Stardew! I be hooked like a fish!

Avast, me hearties! Luma Island be a treasure trove o' jollity, where the sun be shinin' like a gold doubloon and the rum flows like a merry sea! Aye, 'tis a bonnie spot fer raucous laughter and swashbucklin' shenanigans! Arrr, me hearties, what a grand ol' time!

"Arrr, I be livin' like a king! These scallywags be choosin' Trump in the treasure-laden land!"

Avast, me hearties! A band o' landlubber voters in a fierce battleground of Wisconsin be shoutin' for the ol’ captain Trump in 2024! They be blatherin' 'bout treasure chests of gold and keepin' scallywags from settin' foot on their shores. Aye, it be a jolly crew!

Arrr, matey! Trudeau be shoutin' ‘bout India's spy crew reachin' far and wide like a scallywag’s wild tales!

Arrr, matey! The Canadian captain o’ politics be pointin' a finger at the Indian crew, claimin' they had a hand in the fall o' a Sikh buccaneer! Blimey, this be stirrin' up a right tempest 'twixt their ships on the diplomatic seas! Avast, tensions be risin’ like the tide!

Ahoy, mateys! After 38 years and 21 swashbucklin' tunes, ol' Nobuo Uematsu be hangin' up his pirate hat!

Arrr, ye scallywags! Me hearties, I be mighty grateful fer yer fine support! Like a ship full o' rum in a stormy sea, ye keep me afloat! Raise a tankard to ye, for ye be the treasure I didn't plunder! Cheers, ye landlubbers!

Arrr, matey! In Virginia, whispers abound that Trump be stirrin' up a blue state surprise, savvy?

Arrr, in the year o' 2016, many scallywags loathed the Trumpster, yet precious few fancied the Clinton wench! Come 2020, ol' Biden sailed past Trump like a ghost ship. Here be the winds o' 2016 blowin’ once more, savvy? Aye, the seas be fickle, matey!

Arrr! Cap'n Rasmus Dahlin be brawlin' with his matey in a ruckus at practice, like scallywags in a tavern!

Arrr! Captain Dahlin of the Buffalo Sabers and young Krebs locked horns like two scurvy sea dogs! ‘Twas such a ruckus that their mates had to swoop in like gallant sailors—lest the ship be capsized by their squabblin’! Avast, lads, keep yer cutlasses sheathed!

Arrr, matey! Marvel be switchin' Wiccan's tale, but ye likely missed the hullabaloo!

Arrr, they be needin’ to spin a yarn for landlubbers with nary a clue ‘bout the world of comics, savvy? Aye, ‘tis like teachin’ a parrot to dance the jig—confusin’ and downright laughable, I say! Spill the beans, me hearties!

Arrr, Nvidia! Be ye conjurin' a mighty RTX 5070 18GB? Do we truly need such bounty, matey?

Ahoy, matey! Word be out that the RTX 5070 12GB be settin' sail, but soon to follow be an 18GB treasure! It promises a wee 5-10% boost—like findin' an extra doubloon—under Nvidia’s 'Super' flag. Avast, the seas of graphics be gettin' stormy!

Arrr, the kin o' a slain matron be cheerin' for Clinton, callin' out them Biden-Harris scallywags at the border!

Arrr, the kin o' the slain lass Rachel Morin from Maryland be raisin' a mug to ol' Bill Clinton fer lettin' in that scallywag who crossed the border like a sneaky sea rat! Aye, they be callin' it a fine bit o' matey hospitality on a stormy day!

"Two scallywags be charged with sendin' a 72-year-old to Davy Jones' locker, all while dressed as utility swabs!"

Arrr! Two scallywags claimed t’ be searchin' fer a gas leak, but they be sendin' a poor soul to Davy Jones’ locker in his own bilge! They tied up his wench with sticky tape and made off with her shiny trinkets, say the court! Blimey, what a swindle!

"Arrr, as the Black crew be ponderin’ Harris, the Democrats be scurrying like scallywags to win their hearts!"

Arrr! With a wild ruckus, the second-in-command and her hearty crew be scurrying to win the favor of the Black buccaneers, whose discontent they've been avoidin' like a scallywag's bad breath, until now! Avast, mateys, time to mend those sails!

Arrr, Trump be sayin’ transgender lassies in the sports be as wild as a sea monster on a dry land!

Arrr, me hearties! The ol' Captain Trump be bellowin' that lettin' the lasses of the high seas be includin' the landlubbers of transgender kind in their sportin' shenanigans be as outlandish as a parrot wearin' a frock! Yarr, what a jolly jest!

Arrr, California scallywags be denyin' SpaceX sails 'cause of Captain Musk's politics! Blimey, what a jolly mess!

Avast ye! Elon Musk’s tongue waggin’ on the political seas be sinkin’ SpaceX’s plans to let loose a fleet o’ rockets from California’s shores. The Coastal Commission be sayin’ “Nay!” to the Air Force’s grand scheme, all ‘cause our captain be causin’ a ruckus online! Arrr!

Arrr, matey! Windows 11 24H2 be sinkin’ ships, leavin’ some scallywags adrift on the sea of no internet!

Arrr, mateys! Behold, the scallywags be shoutin' that after taming the beast known as Windows 11 24H2, their connection to the great sea of the internet be as fickle as a compass in a storm! Avast, what treachery be this?

Arrr! The National Archaeological Museum in Athens be a treasure trove of dusty bones and shiny trinkets, matey!

Arrr, me hearties! The grand National Archaeological Museum be a treasure trove o' ancient trinkets, with sculptures and fine art galore! Set yer sails for a jolly good time explorin' relics from ages past, fer ye never know what plunder ye might unearth! Yarrr!

Arrr, Jerry Jones be rattlin' his sabre at them radio scallywags fer jabberin’ about his ship’s sorry crew after a right thrashin'!

Arrr, matey! Jerry Jones, the cap'n of them Dallas Cowboys, showed not a whiff of interest in chattin’ ‘bout the offseason crew buildin’. When the radio scallywags pried, he turned as prickly as a sea urchin! Aye, a true buccaneer of the gridiron, he be!

Arrr, Kamala be hittin' the chapel, a fine October surprise, and more jests from the Fox News crew, matey!

Avast, ye scallywags! Feast yer eyes on the freshest tales from the Fox News treasure chest! Set sail on a merry voyage with Sean Hannity and Raymond Arroyo, and let the jests and jigs abound! Arrr, don’t let the wind blow ye away from the fun!