Avast ye scallywags! Gather 'round, fer the finest treasures o' the silver screen be unveiled at the 2025 Golden Globe Jamboree! Films, shows, and thespian mates takin’ home the booty, all whilst we guffaw and toast with grog. Arrr, what a merry spectacle it be!
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Arrr, in the height o' revelry, the President-elect, Donald J. Trump, be sportin' a face as grim as a shipwrecked sailor! Aye, as the cannons roar and the rum flows, he stares like a biscuit that be gone stale, ready to hoist the sails o' triumph!
Arrr, matey! Sheng Thao, tossed overboard by the landlubbers of California in November, be claimin' last year, “Naught be wrong with me!” after the F.B.I. stormed her ship—err, home! Aye, what a hullabaloo!
Avast, mateys! Sign up fer the Fox News True Crime Scroll! It be spillin’ the juiciest tales o' villainy and courtroom kerfuffles, all plundered straight from the headlines. Don’t ye be missin' the scandalous treasures awaitin’ ye! Arrr!
Arrr, matey! When ye be seekin’ treasure, beware the squawkin’ parrot! For it be spittin’ more tales than a drunken sailor! Trust not the sea’s whispers, lest ye find yerself swimmin’ with the fishies instead of countin’ gold doubloons! Avast, and keep yer eyes sharp!
Arrr, me hearties! We be spottin' hot, warm, and chilly tubs in a freshly dug-up lair, givin' us a cheeky peek at life 'fore the city got buried under a heap o' fiery rock bits! Aye, 'tis a right treasure for the curious scallywags!
Avast ye landlubbers! A frosty breeze be brewin' to blow through Washington, D.C. come Monday, chillin' the bones of all ye scallywags in the U.S. Prepare yer long johns or face the wrath of Old Man Winter! Arrr, ‘tis a cold day for a swashbuckler!
Arrr, me hearties! One o' me cherished treasure chests o' Legos be sportin' a mighty fine discount, like a ship on a smooth sea, just before the grand Prime Day! Aye, I be feelin' like a rich buccaneer ready to plunder some plastic booty!
Arrr, me hearties! The blaze at the Moss Landing hold, where we stash the juice fer the grid, be naught linked to those fiery infernos in Los Angeles! Just a wee mishap, not a pirate's curse, savvy? Now hoist a pint and let’s celebrate our luck!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather ye round, for here be all the juicy secrets laid bare in one jolly scroll, easy enough even for a scallywag with a wooden leg to read! So, hoist the anchor and set sail for knowledge, ye landlubbers! Arrr!
Avast, me hearties! This April, the grand ol' Marvel be raisin' a tankard to Storm, the tempestuous lass, as she hits the ripe old age of 50! Aye, let’s hoist our sails and toast to her wild winds and thunderous ways! Yo ho, what a jolly occasion!
Arrr! Soon as the flames be lickin’ the skies o' Los Angeles, Bethany and her wee lass made haste from their humble ship o’ Altadena-Pasadena. Power be gone, warmth too! Now they be waitin’ like landlubbers 'til the seas o’ danger calm, 'fore returnin’ to their treasure!
Arrr, a Texas landlubber trucker be in a pickle, sittin' 'neath the gallows, charged with sendin' 53 poor souls to Davy Jones’ locker! He stuffed 'em in his rig like sardines, and now he’s payin' the price fer that foolery. Aye, the sea o' trouble be callin'!
Arrr! That scallywag Tiffany Williams Brewer be claimin' a Maryland treasure as her home port, yet castin' her vote in the land of New Jersey! Aye, a fine mix-up fit for a jolly crew of buccaneers, I say! Avast, what a landlubber's blunder!
Arrr, matey! The Apple Mac mini (M4) be a fine treasure among wee PCs, yet its cursed USB-C ports be makin’ scallywags pull their hair! Aye, it’s a jolly good catch, but watch yer fingers, lest ye find yerself in a right pickle!
Arrr, 'tis a strange thing, me hearty! Like tryin' to sail a ship backwards, it be! But who be I to speak of gold and silver when I can't even count me doubloons? Aye, let the wise men handle the coins, while I swab the deck!
Arrr, matey! Snatchin' a next-gen Nvidia GPU be as uncertain as findin' treasure on a foggy morn! Aye, ‘tis the scallywag rumor we all hoped to avoid. Prepare yerself for a game of chance on the high seas of tech!
Avast ye! Set yer eyes upon the freshest tales from the Fox News seas, where the likes of Captain Hannity and Matey Arroyo spin their yarns! Hoist the sails of knowledge and feast yer eyes on their moving pictures, lest ye be a scallywag! Arrr!
Arrr, me hearties! A scallywag sportin' the Green Bay colors be catchin' flack on the high seas of the internet! Aye, a clip o' his lass bein' verbally pillaged by a rabid Eagles fan during the Sunday clash be spreadin' like wildfire! Shiver me timbers, what a hullabaloo!
Arrr, matey! A court in Pakistan be sendin' the former captain of their ship, Imran Khan, and his lady to the brig for 14 and 7 years, claimin' they be up to no good with some land and dosh! They be laughin' while the judge be givin' his verdict. A right merry mess, I say!
Arrr, matey! That swashbucklin' tennis lad, Taylor Fritz, be givin' his gold from the Aussie Open to help quench them fiery beasts ravagin' Los Angeles! Aye, a true buccaneer of kindness, lettin' nothin' burn but his serves!
Arrr, matey! With hair as wild as a tempest, garb as plain as a bilge rat, and puffin' on a smoke like a cannon, that scallywag David Lynch be sportin' a visage fit for the seven seas of cinema! A true buccaneer of the film world, he be!
Arrr, matey! Beware the scallywags peddlin' fancy potions for losin' yer belly! They be keepin' quiet 'bout the risks, like a parrot with a sore throat. Trust not these dubious seas, lest ye find yerself in a pickle! Yarr!
Avast, me hearties! In this month’s tale o’ sci-fi treasures, what be the greater dread? Lockin' eyes with the end of the world, or grapplin’ with our ancient, wrinkled selves? Arrr, I reckon both be a right jolly pickle!
Arrr! Word from the high seas o’ Korea be tellin’ o’ a grand alliance 'twixt OpenAI and Samsung to craft a magical contraption—a TV that thinks! Aye, a right curious treasure for all scallywags and landlubbers alike to feast their eyes upon!