The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Captains Corner News

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Arrr, Johnny Depp be sayin’ he’s learned from the scallywags o’ the past, holdin’ no grudges, just a hearty laugh!

Arrr, me hearties! Johnny Depp be patchin’ up his swashbucklin’ career in the fair lands of Europe, after tusslin’ with the Hollywood scallywags and a storm o’ gossip over his tempest with the wicked Amber Heard. Aye, he’s chartin’ new waters, and what a jolly adventure it be!

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"Arrr! Magic gadget be tellin’ if ye noggin’ be slippin’ from MCI to AD! Hoist the sails of knowledge!"

Arrr, matey! BrainSee be a cunning contraption that be peering into yer noggin, reckonin’ if yer mind be slippin’ into the murky depths of Alzheimer’s in five turns of the tide! Aye, it helps doc's and landlubbers chart their course wisely! <br> *Medscape Medical News*

Arrr! The South Korean seas be stormy! What fate awaits Cap'n Yoon after the martial law ruckus, ye ask?

Arrr, matey! The captain of the ship be accused of stirrin' up a mutiny! For the first time, a leader might soon find himself in the brig! Here’s the scallywag's tale on what be awaitin’ him on the stormy seas of politics!

Arrr, the devs be sayin’, “Make ‘em scratch their heads, ‘What in Davy Jones’ locker happened to Pac-Man, matey?”

Arrr matey! Gather ‘round! Dave Wilson, the scallywag behind Secret Level, be spillin’ the beans on the jolly oddities of the Pac-Man tale. Aye, it be a riot of ghosts and gobbles, a true treasure of hilarity! Avast, ye landlubbers, don’t miss this merry adventure!

Arrr, after two long years adrift, the Warhammer tale be sailin' forth with Captain Cavill at the helm!

Avast, me hearties! Prepare ye sails for the grand spectacle of Henry Cavill's Warhammer 40,000! Aye, the dashing buccaneer be ready to swashbuckle with grimdark space foes! Hoist the flag o' excitement, for this be a treasure worth plundering! Yarrr!

Arrr, matey! The last Quest update be makin' me consider swappin’ me compass for VR – hand-tracking be the treasure!

Arrr, matey! The last treasure of 2024 be the grand Meta Quest 3 update, makin' yer virtual desktop as smooth as a mermaid's song! Now ye can haul yer PC into the realm of VR with all the ease of a parrot sittin' on yer shoulder! Avast!

"Arrr, matey! Decipherin' them scallywag factions in Syria be like plunderin' a treasure map gone awry!"

Arrr, the scallywags be united in wantin’ to send Bashar al-Assad to Davy Jones’ locker! But, by me beard, they can’t agree on naught else—‘tis like cats in a sack, fightin’ over a fish bone!

Arrr, matey! After that scallywag Assad, Turkey and the West be the jolly winners, for now, savvy?

Arrr, matey! After a long 60-year reign, the Baathist scallywags in Syria be toppled, and Bashar be hightailin' it to Moscow like a landlubber! Syria and Iran be thick as thieves ‘gainst ol’ Saddam, and they banded together like a rowdy crew to fend off the foul IS and al-Qaeda blaggards!

"Arrr, matey! When Assad's keel's hauled, what's the next treasure hunt for Syria, eh?"

Arrr, it be the clock tower what sealed the fate, me hearties! Rebels be settin’ sail ‘round Homs, claimin’ the city like a treasure chest. Now they be cuttin’ off ol’ Damascus from its seafarin’ mates! Aye, chaos reigns in Samayya Square, where booms and bangs be the tune o' victory!

"Lower yer sights, matey! In Syria, ye be chasin' naught but a mirage o' treasure!"

Ahoy, mateys! A quick word from the Corner, fer I spent me day wranglin' the Carnival o’ Fools like ol' Al Swearingen with a bellyache! The Assad scallywags be runnin' to Russia, their reign sunk like a leaky ship! Raise yer tankards to chaos, savvy?

Arrr matey! What be the scoop on them scallywags still brawlin’ in Syria after that landlubber al-Assad set sail?

Arrr matey! Bashar al-Assad be walkin’ the plank, and the Russians and Persians be takin’ a breather! But lo! The Israelis, Turks, and good ol’ Yanks be rainin’ cannon fire from the skies like a barrel o’ rum at a wild feast! Avast, what a ruckus!

Arrr, Netanyahu be settin' his sea legs in the dock, spillin' tales o' corruption like a tipsy parrot!

Arrr, me hearties! Captain Netanyahu be caught in a storm o' scandal, accused o' plunderin' and betrayin' trust! Four long years he's been fightin' these treacherous claims, swearin' on his best parrot that he be innocent. Aye, the seas of politics be a fickle mistress!

Arrr! The finest scallywag's guide to the Monk's mightiest build in Path of Exile 2, ye salty sea dog!

Arrr, matey! If ye be searchin' fer the finest Monk build in the grand seas o' Path of Exile 2, hoist yer sails and brace yerself! With a fist o' fury and a heart full o' mischief, ye'll be knockin' scallywags into Davy Jones' locker in no time!

Arrr, matey! Zachary Levi be sayin’ he ain't sunk after Trump’s nod; he sails on, full o’ wind!

Arrr, matey! Actor Zachary Levi be standin' tall fer his support o' Captain Trump’s voyage to the White House, sayin' he faced no scallywag consequences fer his choice. Aye, must be the wind in his sails blowin' favorably, or perhaps he be just a lucky barnacle!

Arrr! The Bear star be settin' sail fer the Star Wars seas in Mandalorian—lookin' fer Clone Wars booty, matey!

Avast, mateys! Behold, the scallywag Rotta the Hutt be back upon the briny deep! Aye, this blubbery buccaneer’s return be like a ship full o' rum—unwanted yet ever so entertainin'! Prepare ye bellies for a hearty laugh and yer eyes for a sight to behold! Arrr!

Arrr, matey! Rumors be brewin’ o’ AMD Strix chips settin' sail, but beware the storm o' flagship worries ahead!

Arrr! Thar be news from the briny deep! The Strix Halo flagship be makin’ waves in a sneaky benchmark, yet it raises the jolly roger of doubt—might this chip be meant fer landlubber machines, not fer hearty gaming vessels? Yarrr, me hearties, what be the tale?

Arrr, matey! If fate be twisted, Kansas City be lookin’ like a scallywag at 2-11 in 2024! Blimey!

Arrr, matey! The Kansas City Chiefs be sailin' the seas o' victory at 12-1, but if the fates had flipped their nail-bitin’ battles, they'd be sunk at 2-11! Aye, 'tis a mighty fine jest, watchin' 'em dance with the kraken instead o' claimin' treasure!

"Arrr, matey! POLARIX be shoutin’ loud, 'tis the gold standard fer DLBCL, aye, and we be celebratin’!"

Arrr, me hearties! The POLARIX tale be sayin' that after five long years, those brave souls with the dreaded diffuse large B-cell lymphoma, who took the pola-R-CHP potion, be sailin' smooth seas without scurvy! Avast, a fine treasure of good health! Yarr!

"Arrr matey, lead-laden winds be causin' a hullabaloo in many a noggin, makin' ’em madder than a scallywag!"

Arrr, me hearties! It be said that years o’ breathin’ lead-laden fumes from yer sea chests have sparked a ruckus in 151 million noggins! Aye, a new scroll be tellin’ us that too much ‘o that ol’ gasoline be makin’ landlubbers a tad bit bonkers! Har har!

Arrr! Ketanji be settin' sail fer Broadway, takin' a wee stroll on stage fer just one night, savvy?

Arrr, mateys! Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson be makin’ a grand, one-time jaunt upon the stage of the fine musical “& Juliet” this Saturday night! Prepare yer grog and yer belly laughs, for a night o' swashbucklin’ fun awaits ye! Aye, it be a sight fer sore eyes!

Arrr, me hearty! To vanquish a fleet o’ emails on yer iPhone, just swipe 'em all and send 'em to Davy Jones!

Arrr, mateys! Techie Kurt “CyberGuy” Knutsson be here to teach ye scallywags the fine art of vanquishing pesky emails! Cast away the digital clutter from yer inbox, lest it be a stormy sea o' chaos! Hoist the sails and make room for treasure, ye savvy sailors!

"Arrr! The Franklin blaze be roastin' Malibu! All hands must abandon ship, or risk bein' toast!"

Arrr matey! On Monday eve, the fiery beast known as Franklin be lettin’ loose, spreadin’ like a scallywag at a tavern! The fair folk of Southern California be shiverin’ in their boots, readying for a wild blaze that’d make even the bravest pirate run for the hills! Yarr!

"How be these scallywags wranglin' their pesky intermediate-risk prostate beasties, eh? Arrr, what a jolly pickle!"

Arrr, matey! From the years of our Lord 2010 to 2020, landlubbers with that pesky intermediate-risk prostate ailment be settin’ sail on the seas of watchful waitin’! Aye, it seems they be choosin’ to keep a keen eye on their troubles instead of battlin’ ‘em outright! Avast!

Arrr! New Jersey be the newest land to say, "Nay!" to keepin' books from the scallywags in schools and libraries!

Arrr! Governor Phil Murphy of Jersey be raisin' the Jolly Roger against book bans! He’s givin’ a hearty “nay!” to scallywags who’d shackle the tomes in libraries. Now, librarians be safe from the hangman’s noose, joinin’ the likes of Illinois and Minnesota. A fine day for words, me hearties!

"Trump be spoutin' of treasures on the moon, yet ne’er a whisper o’ the ship to sail! Har har!"

Arrr, the captain-elect be makin’ grand promises that’d make Davy Jones himself raise an eyebrow! But ye see, some scallywags worry his mighty swagger might turn his treasure map into a ghost ship! Aye, a fine pickle to be in, me hearty!