The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Captains Corner News

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Arrr, matey! Join the swashbucklin' quiz o' news from Foxy News, destined for October the fourth, in the year 2024!

Ahoy mateys! Johnny Depp be donning his swashbucklin’ garb once more! And this fierce father, through tempest and rubble, trekked near 30 leagues to escort his lass to the altar! Can ye prove yer noggin be sharp? Give it a go, ye scallywags! 🏴‍☠️

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Arrr, matey! Be ye sayin' that high blood pressure in the belly might lead to a scallywag's diabetes? Har har!

Arrr, me hearties! All lasses who’ve faced the stormy seas of high blood pressure whilst carryin’ their young’uns be needin’ a check for the sugar troubles! Aye, it be wise to hoist the sails and set course fer a diabetes screen! Keep yer riches of health intact!

"Arrr! ‘Smile 2’ be the tale of a jolly scene, where hearty laughs be the treasure we seek, matey!"

Arrr, listen close, me hearties! Parker Finn be spin’n a yarn ’bout “Smile 2,” where the fair Naomi Scott be playin’ a role fit for a treasure map! Aye, a tale full o’ grins and giggles, like a parrot with too much rum! Har har har!

Arrr, how be that mighty flu jab workin' for the old sea dogs, eh? Aye, let’s find out!

Arrr, matey! Aye, a French contraption o’ high-dose flu potions be savin' 23% o' the old sea dogs from Davy Jones’ locker! Them aged scallywags, 65 and up, be stayin' aboard instead o' settin' sail for the hospital! <i>Medscape Medical News</i> be spillin' the beans, savvy?

Arrr! 'Tis not Space Marine 3, but a jolly episode o' Secret Level be the next best treasure, matey!

Arrr, me hearties! Amazon be servin’ up a feast o’ tales, with none other than Kratos, the mighty slayer, and Pac-Man, the circle-chompin’ scallywag! Aye, let the high seas o’ entertainment roll, where pixels clash and legends be born! Yarrr!

"Arrr, me hearties! Let’s plunder the health gap o' the lasses and lads alike, savvy?"

Arrr, matey! In the treacherous seas of health, lasses be gettin’ shoddy care and naught but delays! The UK be chartin’ a grand plan to fix this cursed folly—wise scallywags be weighin' in on the best way to sail these choppy waters! Avast, a fairer tide be a-comin’!

Arrr, matey! Apple's M4 Macs be ready to sail the seas o’ launch soon, 'fore ye can say "shiver me timbers!"

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Arrr matey! The scallywags at Apple be readyin’ to unleash their shiny M4 Macs upon us, but instead o’ a grand hootenanny, they might just scribble a press note! Aye, let’s hope they don’t forget the rum! 🍏🏴‍☠️

Arrr, matey! Venom 3 be the last hurrah, but Tom Hardy ain't done sparrin' with that pesky Spider-Man yet!

Arrr, me hearties! I be itchin’ fer a scrap with that web-slingin’ scallywag, Spider-Man! Aye, I be ready to duel him on the high seas or in the alleys, savvy? Let’s see if he can dodge a cannonball or two! Har har har!

Arrr matey! Here be the top ten haunts for Halloween revelry in the colonies, ranked for yer ghostly delight!

Arrr, me hearties! A fresh scroll be spillin’ the beans on the finest Halloween ports in the U.S.! The savvy landlubbers at WalletHub be comparin’ 100 towns fer the most frightful festivities. Get ready to swab the decks and don yer best ghostly garb! Yarr! 🎃🏴‍☠️

Arrr! Netflix be sinkin’ its fancy game ship, leavin’ a crew of legendary devs to walk the plank!

Arrr, gather 'round ye scallywags! We be havin’ the likes of Chacko Sonny, the great Overwatch captain, and Rafael Grassetti, the art wizard from God of War Ragnarok! Aye, talent be flowin’ like rum, and we be sailin’ for a grand adventure, ye landlubbers!

"Arrr! Blinken sails to Israel while them scallywags at Hezbollah be lobbing fireworks at Tel Aviv! Avast, mateys!"

Arrr, matey! The crew be plottin’ a mischief near a military cove, just after them Israeli cannonades near Beirut! And lo, the U.S. bigwig be settin’ sail for meetin’s in Tel Aviv this very Tuesday! Avast, what a ruckus on the high seas of diplomacy!

"Arrr, matey! Alopecia be tamed with Ritlecitinib—ye hair shall grow back like treasure from Davy Jones' locker!"

Arrr, matey! In a jolly tale of ritlecitinib, 100% o’ the scallywags found their crow’s nests full o’ hair again! Even 30% o’ those who be stubborn saw fine growth by the 48th week! Avast, ‘tis a right hair-raising adventure!

Arrr! India and China struck a truce, lettin’ tempers cool like grog in a shady cove!

Arrr, four years past, a ruckus broke out 'twixt some salty soldiers, spillin' more guts than a fishmonger’s deck! If these nations kiss and make up, it could stir the seas for all of us, savvy?

Arrr, be them great talkin’ machines fit fer the testin’ waters, or just a bunch o' bilge rats?

Arrr, as these grand word-machines be growin’, can they truly help the healers spin the yarns of truth and trust? Aye, ‘tis a fine question fit for a parley over rum! Avast, let’s see if they can outsmart a scallywag with a stethoscope!

Arrr, hoist yer sails! Fear not, matey! Here be the treasure map to yer pics after the iOS 18 storm!

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Ahoy, mateys! Ye tech wizard Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson be spillin' the beans on the iOS 18 Photos treasure! With a jolly new layout, customizable collections, and photo organization so easy, even a landlubber could find their booty! Arrr, make yer piccies shine like a doubloon!

Arrr, Zotac be not spillin’ the beans on the RTX 5090, but we be hopin’ fer a grand CES 2025 reveal!

Arrr, matey! That fresh footage ye spied of Nvidia's fabled RTX 5090 be naught but a mirage! 'Twas merely Zotac Gaming's 4070 Ti Super Solid, dressed up for the occasion! A trickster’s jest, I say! So hoist the sails and keep yer eye on the horizon!

Arrr, Robert Downey Jr. be the swashbuckler savin' young Tom Holland's Spider-Man tale: "Where'd all the lad's words vanish, I say?"

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"Aye, I be owein' that scallywag a hearty thanks! If it weren't fer his jolly good fortune, I'd be swimmin' with the fishies instead of sippin' rum on me ship! So here's to ye, matey!"

Arrr, them scallywag ex-GOP mates be beggin' Gar-lad to hunt down that Musk fella like a treasure map!

Arrr! A band o’ scallywags from the GOP be insistin’ that ol’ Merrick Garland set sail on an inquiry ‘bout Elon Musk, the tech buccaneer! He be handin’ out treasure to landlubbers in swing states for signins’ on his petition. Aye, they claim it be foul play in the election seas!

Arrr, Liz Cheney be sayin’ millions o’ scallywags’ll back Harris! Vote yer conscience, or walk the plank!

Arrr, matey! Liz Cheney and Vice Prez Kamala be hoistin' sails on a madcap quest to sway the shy Republicans, fearin' their votes fer Trump! They scoured Chester, Oakland, and Waukesha, lands claimed by the fierce Nikki Haley. A right ruckus, I say! Avast, the political seas be stormy!

Arrr! The freshest scallywags, aged 18 to 24, be sportin' more conservative colors than their elder mateys!

Arrr, matey! A curious wind be blowin' in the land o' the free! Young scallywags aged 18 to 24 be takin' up the conservative flag, outpacing their slightly elder mates! A twist from the days of yore, it be! More lads be sportin’ the conservative colors than the liberal sails! Avast!

Arrr, the FBI thinks a scallywag inside the crew spilled the beans 'bout Israel, not a sneaky hackin'!

Arrr, matey! The landlubbers of the FBI and Defense be in a right tizzy, tryin' to find out how two secret scrolls ‘bout Israel’s plans fer a rumble with Iran washed up on a Telegram channel! Even ol’ Biden be lookin' as worried as a cat in a dogfight! Avast!

Arrr, those crafty Hamas scallywags in North Gaza be dodgin’ like slippery eels—harder to catch than a ghost ship!

Arrr, matey! Israel’s laid waste to Hamas's scallywags and much o' Gaza's treasure! But beware, for those sneaky sea rats still be nippin’ at our heels in the north, like pesky barnacles on a ship's hull! Avast! Trouble brews in the salty waters!

Arrr! Wayward lad in Spain be likely squished and singed after hittin' the hay in a trash heap, sayin' cops!

Arrr, it seems a lass in Majorca met a most unfortunate fate! The scallywag likely found herself squished in a garbage wagon, then sent to the fiery depths of a waste pit. Talk about a dreadful way to go, eh? Blimey, what a stinkin' end!

Yarr matey! Yellen be scoldin’ the Chinese scallywags fer lendin’ gold like it be a bottomless treasure chest!

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Arrr, matey! In a parley, the treasure keeper be chattin' 'bout the fine strides at the World Bank and that scallywag crew, the International Monetary Fund, as they hoist the sails for their yearly shindig this week! Avast, let the gold flow like rum!

"Arrr, which scallywag from the Republican crew be hopin' to board the Harris ship? We be askin' the tavern!"

Arrr, in a message sent swift as a cannonball, Mitt be scoffin’ at the notion! John Bolton be sayin’ his chances be “substantially less than zero,” as if they be swimmin’ with the fishies! And Liz Cheney? She be quieter than a ghost ship in the fog!