Avast ye scallywags! Gather 'round, fer the finest treasures o' the silver screen be unveiled at the 2025 Golden Globe Jamboree! Films, shows, and thespian mates takin’ home the booty, all whilst we guffaw and toast with grog. Arrr, what a merry spectacle it be!
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Arrr! On the eventide of Saturday, four lassies of Israel were handed back by the scallywags of Hamas, whilst Israel tossed out 200 prisoners. But lo! A brawl broke out over when to swap 'em—like squabblin' over a treasure map, savvy?
Arrr, the new defense captain be chartin' a course that sails against the winds of neutrality! His aims be like a scallywag tryin' to paint a parrot pink when all be wantin' a fine, proper fleet that reflects the jolly crew of America! Avast, what a merry mess!
Arrr, a month after Blake Lively's cannonball of a lawsuit for mischief in the night, Justin Baldoni's crew be holdin' steady, throwin' hearty cheers and jolly jests to keep him sailin' through the stormy seas of legal squabbles! Avast, me hearties!
Arrr, matey! Every airline be the captain of its own ship, settin’ the rules fer what garb flies aboard! Here be a treasure map of airlines, all sportin’ their fancy dress codes fer landlubbers tryin’ to sail the skies! Hoist yer colors right, or ye be walkin’ the plank!
Arrr, matey! Vanna White be all befuddled, hear ye! After her lad appeared in a jolly Instagram scallywag show, the crew dubbed him a "thirst trap!" Aye, what strange waters these be, where a fine lad be caught fishin' for attention! Blimey, me hearties, what a merry jest!
Arrr, matey! David Marcus be scribblin’ from Asheville, where the fine folk be joinin’ forces and lendin' a hand like true buccaneers, four moons after that scallywag Hurricane Helene blew through! Aye, ‘tis a jolly crew, helpin’ each other like treasure hoarders protectin’ their gold!
Arrr, me hearties! Scott Jeffrey, the scallywag behind "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey," be defendin' his cursed crew from landlubber jabs of laziness! He be claimin’ it’s a right jolly romp, not just a lazy treasure hunt! Set sail for laughs, ye swabs! Har har!
Avast, me hearties! A decree from the captain has put the kibosh on our Afghan mates hopping aboard for a new life in the colonies! Those who lent a hand to the American crew are now left high and dry. Blimey, what a scallywag of a turn of events!
Arrr, matey! Podcast wench Riley Gaines be settin' sail on the stormy seas o’ backlash ‘gainst the WNBA lass DiJonai Carrington, who dared don an anti-Trump rag on Friday! Shiver me timbers, the tides be turnin’ in this here jestin’ squabble!
Arrr, the White House be laughin' in the face o' the law, not givin' Congress a hearty 30 days' notice nor the tales behind sendin' the watchdogs to Davy Jones' locker! A merry jest, indeed! Avast, what scallywags these landlubbers be!
Arrr! The agencies be all a-quakin' in their boots, unsure how to wrangle this storm o' new rules! Meanwhile, the scallywags be scurrying about, tryin' to fathom how these changes be shakin' their jolly lives! A right rum-filled ruckus, it be!
Arrr, me hearty! In a jolly exchange, the captives be set free—200 scallywags and a handful o' hostages! A merry trade, aye, as the cease-fire deal be unfurlin’ its sails this moon! Now, let’s raise a tankard and celebrate this fine bargain, savvy?
Arrr, matey! Secretary Rubio be givin' the word that many aid brigands might need to scuttle their charity sails! Meanwhile, the White House be loadin' up with mighty 2,000-pound cannonballs for Israel! Aye, 'tis a right jolly ruckus on the high seas of diplomacy!
Arrr, me hearties! Steve Cohen, the captain of the Mets ship, be spillin' the beans! The crew be shoutin' for the mighty Alonso to stay aboard, but alas, the contract squabble be more tangled than a sea serpent in Juan Soto's nets! Aye, what a merry jest!
Arrr, that swashbucklin' flick from the year o' our Lord 1966 turned that rogue wave-ridin' scallywag into the paragon of free-spirited surfin' rascals! Aye, he be the bravest seadog to ever dance with the briny deep on a plank o’ wood!
Arrr, matey! U.S. Olympian Suni Lee took to the snowy seas o’ skiing this week, as her Instagram tale be tellin’. But alas! She met the frosty floor, face-first! Aye, not all treasure be gold, but a face full of snow be a sight to behold!
Arrr, Stephen A. Smith be lamentin’ like a scallywag! He and his crew who cast their lots fer Kamala Harris feel like a band o’ dunderheads, seein’ as she sailed through the primaries without a single vote! Blimey, what a jolly jest indeed!
Arrr, I be wantin’ to toss this scallywag thirty doubloons, for his game be slappin’ harder than a cannonball in a rum-fueled brawl! Aye, me hearties, it be a treasure worth every shiny piece!
Arrr, 'twas a grand day in the realm o' game makin', me hearties! A treasure trove o' reasons, like a ship full o' rum, made it a milestone worth celebratin'! Aye, the winds o' creativity be blowin' fierce, and we be sailin' into new horizons!
Avast, mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale! We be chattin' with the brave Ryszard Horowitz, a survivor of Davy Jones' cruel clutches and a wizard with the lens! Aye, he spun a yarn of his youth in Kraków, dodgin' the dark clouds of the Nazi scallywags! Arrr!
Arrr, matey! Word from the crow’s nest be that Apple be wantin’ to hoist their own parrot, Siri, and fancy contraptions of their makin’ to the helm! Aye, a secret map be spillin’ the beans! Let’s see if they can sail these seas without cap’n’s help!
Arrr, now that Cap'n Trump be back in the grand White House, what jolly pearls o' wisdom can we nab from his wild voyage through the political seas to better our own landlubber lives, eh? Let’s hoist the sails of savvy and find some treasure in his mischief!
Arrr, matey! It be a curious thing, eh? Many a scallywag app be askin' for yer treasure maps, though they ain't even sailin' near yer port! Texas' own Captain Paxton be seekin' to unleash a cannonball on Allstate for this dastardly deed! Avast, ye landlubbers!
Arrr matey! Chasin’ naught but oil and gas be like sailin' a leaky ship! It don't fix the wild storms of power woes, the ever-hungry crew, nor the swift winds of change a-comin' to our energy seas! Ye best be readyin' fer a grand adventure ahead!