The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Captains Corner News

Pirate Image

"Arrr mateys, 'Jeanne du Barry' be a scandalous tale as dull as a dead parrot on a Sunday mornin'!"

Arrr, Maïwenn be the mastermind behind the film, takin' on the role o' leadin' lady alongside Johnny Depp as Louis XV. Though he be professin' his love fer her, their spark be lackin' like a damp powder keg! Aye, they be needin' some more rum in their grog to ignite that fire!

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Arrr, New Hampshire be makin' voters jump through hoops, like a scallywag tryin' to dance on a ship's deck!

Arrr, matey! The law be sayin’ ye need a mugshot to swab the deck o' votes, and first-timers must prove they ain't just landlubbers! But fret not, ‘tis all on hold till after the November hullabaloo! Aye, what a merry farce!

Arrr! California scallywags be taming the fiery beasties as the winds turn chillier than a mermaid's kiss!

Arrr, with the chill in the air and the mugginess a'hoverin', our hearty crews be makin' fast work o' them fiery beasties in San Bernardino, Orange, and Riverside! Aye, these flames be tremblin' like a scallywag at the sight of the captain’s wrath!

Arrr! Alaska Airlines be swervin' from Nashville’s runway, lest they clash with another ship in the sky! What a scallywag!

Arrr, matey! On Thursday, the good ship Alaska Airlines nearly set sail but stopped short at Nashville, dodgin' a wayward Southwest vessel! 'Twas a close call, but the crew spied the danger and held fast! A fine tale of air piracy, if ye ask me!

"Arrr! Prince William be sportin' a shaggy beard like his matey Harry, makin' the crew go wild fer his jolly visage!"

Arrr, matey! Prince William be sportin' a scruffy beard at the Royal Air Force rite of passage, causin' a right ruckus among the landlubbers online, all swoonin' fer the "yummy" prince! Even the gulls be gossipin' 'bout his whiskered charm, savvy?

Arrr, Dolly be raised on the holy trinity o' tunes, grub, 'n the Good Lord, savvy?

Arrr, matey! Dolly Parton and her sis, Rachel, be servin' up a Southern feast fit for a captain! Their cookbook be spillin’ the beans on their upbringing o’ "God, tunes, and grub." A treasure trove of childhood values, it be! So hoist the anchor and feast ye hearties!

“Arrr! The Southern SoCal shores be ablaze, matey! Fire’s a’roamin’ while we swab the decks and laugh!”

Arrr, me hearties! The brave lads o' the fire brigade be wrestlin' with three mighty blazes, threatenin' fair ports like Los Angeles and San Bernardino County! Aye, 'tis a fiery kerfuffle, with flames dancin' like scallywags at a tavern brawl! Avast! Keep yer buckets ready!

"Arrr, that scallywag Watson be leadin' like a ship without a compass! Even the parrot knows the play!"

Arrr, matey! Jordan Wilkins, a swashbucklin' ex-Brownie, be takin' a jibe at Captain Deshaun Watson's command, sayin’ he be blabberin’ to the crew that Wilkins be as lost as a landlubber in the final sea trial! Avast, the sea be rough with such talk!

Arrr, the Ghost Rider be joinin’ forces with Wolverine, Fury, Bucky, and a crew o' scallywags to swab dem demon Nazis!

Arrr, me hearties! Ghost Rider '44 be takin' the helm in Hellhunters, sailin' forth from the briny depths of The Incredible Hulk! With flames a'roarin' and mischief a'brewin', this scallywag be ready to raid the high seas o' adventure! Avast, ye landlubbers!

Arrr! Harris be callin' Trump to a duel o' words whilst she be rallyin' in the Carolinas, matey!

Avast, me hearties! At her grand gathering since this week's squabble, the vice president proclaimed, "We be beholden to the scallywags who vote!" But lo and behold, mere moments prior, ol' Trump declared he be shunning another duel! A right jolly jest, I say!

Arrr! After a hullabaloo like Silksong scallywags, Dragon Ball’s surprise crew be makin’ fans dance a merry jig!

Ahoy, me hearties! The scallywags of the Dragon Ball GT crew be sailin' into our midst! Arrr, with their gleamin’ treasure and wild adventures, they be makin' the high seas tremble with laughter! Hoist the sails and prepare for a jolly good time, ye salty sea dogs!

"Yarr! U.N. and the Crown be spittin' fire at Israel for sinkin' their mates in Gaza, arrr!"

Arrr, matey! Israel be claimin’ that old school turned into a nest o’ scallywags, full o’ militants! They be droppin’ a list o’ lads they reckon be Hamas fighters, all marked for some pirate-style payback! Avast, the seas be stormy with trouble!

Arrr! Knull be a mighty scallywag, lettin' Eddie join the Avengers crew for a raucous clash, savvy?

Arrr, matey! The jolly tale of Knull be tangled with Secret Wars, a right merry twist that could turn the tide for Venom: The Last Dance! Yarr, prepare yer sea legs for a hullabaloo o' epic proportions! Avast, and let the laughter flow like rum on the high seas!

"Arrr! 'Tis a jolly chase, matey! Can ye outsmart the scallywag in 'The Killer’s Game'? Ho ho ho!"

Arrr, a fearsome cutthroat (Dave Bautista) be findin’ his equal (Sofia Boutella), but a cursed diagnosis be unleashin’ a bonkers tale o’ love and mayhem in this jolly romp o’ action and mirth! Avast, me hearties, prepare for a rollickin’ adventure on the high seas o' romance!

Arrr! U.S. be backin’ Africa’s quest fer a council throne, but beware o’ the fine print, matey!

Arrr, matey! The good ol' U.S. be givin’ a hearty cheer for Africa’s crew to sit at the big table, but alas, no new cannonballs for vetoin'! Yet, ho! T’ain't just the captain’s say that charts the course; many a stormy sea be ahead!

Ahoy matey! The OpenAI Strawberry be landin’, known as o1-preview, ‘tis the jolliest ChatGPT ye ever did meet!

Arrr! The grand launch of OpenAI's Strawberry reasoning model be upon us, mateys! But beware! Its logic be as tricky as a two-headed coin—might not suit every scallywag on the high seas of thought. Set yer sails wisely, or ye might end up in Davy Jones' reasoning locker!

Arrr! WADA be sayin' China be playin' with the devil’s brew! Rules tossed like a ship’s anchor, matey!

Arrr, matey! An inquisitor hired by the grand antidoping crew be sayin' there be no favoritism fer the land of the dragon! Athletes be up in arms, and now the F.B.I. be sniffin' about like a hungry shark! Aye, the seas be boilin' with outrage!

Arrr, Tony Hawk be schemin' with Activision on a grand treasure—one the landlubbers will surely cherish, savvy?

"Arrr, matey! It be a wild tempest o' thrill, like findin' a treasure chest full o' rum! I be jumpin' like a scallywag on a cannonball! Aye, this be a ruckus that’d make even Davy Jones crack a smile!"

Arrr! Jermaine Eluemunor be blastin’ scallywags fer treatin' poor Daniel Jones like a landlubber!

Arrr, after the Giants faced a mighty squall in their season's first match, a band o' disgruntled scallywags gave quarterback Daniel Jones a proper ribbing as he made his way from MetLife’s dark hold. “Ye be needin’ a map to find the end zone, matey!” they bellowed!

Arrr, matey! Stephen Peat, a fierce NHL buccaneer, met Davy Jones after a mishap—his ship sank in a brawl!

Avast, me hearties! Stephen Peat, a former ice buccaneer for the Caps, has shuffled off his mortal coil at the ripe age of 44. Aye, he met his fate in a mishap most tragic, but let us raise a tankard to the jolly soul, who fought like a true sea dog!

Arrr! MIT's fresh mateys be less varied, thanks to the high seas of the Supreme Court's folly!

Arrr, matey! The scallywags at the Massachusetts Institute o' Technology be sayin’ their fresh-faced crew be less diverse this year, thanks to the Supreme Court’s decree last summer. Dean Schmill be spillin’ the beans that only 16 outta a hundred be Black, Hispanic, or other fine folk. Avast!

"Arrr! Behold! A chart that shows how the Supreme Court be shakin' up the seas o' affirmative action, matey!"

Arrr, matey! The latest scrolls reveal that since the high court be raisin’ the anchor on affirmative action, Black enrollment be takin’ a nosedive at some fine schools! Some places be seein’ wild ups and downs, while others be sailin’ smoothly. Aye, the seas of education be rough!

"Arrr! ‘The Critic’ be a treacherous tale of tangled hearts, like a ship caught in a squall o' romance!"

Arrr, matey! Ian McKellen be a scallywag of a drama scribe in the foggy streets of 1930s London, demandin’ high art while his own moral compass be as crooked as a pirate's hook! Aye, he be a true jester among thespians, laughin' all the way to the treasure!

Battlin' the pesky whirlpool o' Jew-hatin' in the Great White North, arrr! 'Tis a scallywag's folly, matey!

Arrr, matey! Attorney and rights buccaneer Brooke Goldstein be spottin’ the ol’ antisemitism beast risin’ in Canada’s waters! She be hoistin’ the sails and chartin’ a course to combat this scallywag, or me name ain’t Captain Jolly! Avast, justice be comin’!

Arrr, matey! Harvey Weinstein be facing the gallows again 'neath the New York skies! Avast, what a scallywag!

Arrr, matey! The scallywag Weinstein be in a pickle, charged anew but the details be locked tighter than a treasure chest! The court be buzzin’, but he be missin’, havin' a heart scare fit for a landlubber! His lawyer claims he be still as weak as a shipwrecked sailor!